


Paternal Instincts by Gershwhen and Sideburns

by alyjude_sideburns



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyjude_sideburns/pseuds/alyjude_sideburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel comes to terms with the loss of Shar'e's child</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paternal Instincts by Gershwhen and Sideburns

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: Written by Gershwhen and Sideburns and beta'd by Gershwhen
> 
> Originally published in 2006

**Paternal Instincts by Gershwhen and Sideburns**

 

"Daniel? Shoes!"

Daniel looked down at his bare feet and turned back toward the building to retrieve his boots. He pushed through the doorway and bent down to grab his gear. A slight blob on the floor caught his eye; it was one of the velvet blankets the child had been wrapped in. Daniel remembered holding it in his hand after he had returned the child to Oma Desala. He must have dropped it as he ran toward the team in their standoff with the Jaffa.

He reached over and grabbed the luxurious scrap of material. Pulling it to his face he breathed deeply. The slight, clean scent of baby still clung to it. He remembered folding blankets with Sha're on Abydos, right after... his mind shut down. No, dwelling on that was not going to help things here. He shoved the scrap into his pack, tugged on his boots and ran to catch up with the group.

"Dan—" Jack cut the shout off just as Daniel came running towards them. "What took you so long?" He glanced down to assure that bootlaces were tied and then focused back up. Daniel shrugged, shifted his pack and kept walking.

He could feel Jack's eyes on him. It was a fairly long hike back to the gate, and every few minutes he sensed the shift of Jack's attention from the area to him. Daniel estimated it would be a few more minutes before Jack started to talk, and sure enough, ten minutes later, Jack re-shouldered his P90, gripped the shoulder strap snugly and cocked his head toward Daniel.

"Sorry about the fire thing."

Daniel kept walking, his focus on keeping one foot moving in front of the other. "Fire thing?" He could hear the detachment in his own voice. "Yeah, you know. How you couldn't move the fire and start it with your mind. I'm sure it's a disappointment."

Shrugging, Daniel kept walking. "Oh, I guess. It should have occurred to me sooner that I wasn't the one doing it. I just wanted so much to be able to protect Sha're's child, and I thought I was getting the gift to really do it. I should have known better."

Daniel focused on the feel of the rocks under his boots, the constant movement of his feet. He concentrated on the here and now. He was not going to look at the past — not the distant past or the past three hours — until he was home safe and alone. Then he'd allow himself to fall apart. And he'd allow himself to grieve.

"Yeah, look, about the kid." Jack stopped, put his had on Daniel's arm and pulled him to a halt.

Daniel knew Jack was waiting for him to meet his eyes before he continued, but he just couldn't, not now. Focusing on the mesh on Jack's vest he waited.

"Danny, you did what was best for him. He's safe, he's being taken care of. You are protecting him."

A pause, a sigh. "Daniel, look at me, will ya?"

He finally raised his eyes to Jack's and waited. After a couple of moments he really looked and saw the concern in Jack's eyes deepen as confusion began to seep into the worried look on Jack's face.

Jack's grip on his forearm tightened. "Danny, talk to me. What is it? This is more than just watching some kid you've never met go off with an alien."

The words were harsh, they pushed, but Daniel wasn't up to pushing back. "Just...Just leave it, okay? We have a long walk ahead of us, then we'll be met at the gate by the Marines, have physicals, be debriefed and ..." Daniel stopped, looked a head to where Bra'tak and Teal'c waited with Sam.

"And?"

Daniel dropped his arm, turned and began walking forward. "And I'd like to get through it all without becoming part of a group exercise in psycho analysis with optional audience participation."

Daniel felt, rather than heard Jack stop behind him at those words. He kept walking. Shortly, Jack's long strides pulled him up even with Daniel.

There were no more questions. Daniel shifted his pack and again marveled at how one small scrap of material could put so much weight on his shoulders.

~~~~

The long walk was over, a worried General Hammond had met them at the gate, the physicals had been completed, as well as the debriefing, and Daniel was finally at home. He'd managed to slip away without another confrontation with Jack and he was feeling oddly — torn about that. On the one hand, he wanted and needed to be alone, but on the other, having Jack to talk with, to share—

Which was ridiculous. There hadn't been any sharing in quite awhile. But Jack had looked concerned. Daniel shook himself and dropped his jacket wherever it landed, then toed out of his shoes and walked up into his living room.

Home.

Empty.

Quiet.

Just what he needed. And maybe, just maybe... something to drink. He padded into the kitchen and opened the 'fridge. Staring back at him was a corked bottle of wine and two beers, leftover from a team barbecue of months ago. In Jack's honor, he went for the beer. He kicked the door shut, twisted off the cap and tossed it expertly into the trash.

"And Doctor Daniel Jackson scores!" Take that, Colonel O'Neill, he thought. Science geek my ass.

He took a healthy swig and marveled at how his tastes had changed. He actually enjoyed beer now. Daniel walked into his bedroom, put down the beer, changed out of his clothes and into an old pair of faded jeans and a soft, oft worn and beloved no-longer-quite-white tee shirt. He took off his socks and dumped them in the hamper, then with beer back in hand ambled out to the living room.

Daniel stood a moment, then after taking another sip of beer, for fortification, he walked to his jacket, picked it up and took the swatch of amber cloth from the pocket. Bottle in one hand, material in the other, he walked over to the couch and sank down.

As his fingers caressed the soft cloth, his eyes misted over and he was transported back to Abydos and the moment Sha're had told him of her news.

Daniel had been bent over some task that barely registered now — some four and a half years later, and she'd come up behind him, placed her hands over his eyes and repeating a game he'd taught her, had whispered, "Guess who, Dan-yel?"

He'd smiled, covered both her hands with his own and had teased, "Ah. By the aging and roughness of the hands, I'd say you are that old crone, Mystapha."

She'd slapped at him playfully, nipped his ear, then said, "Try again, my husband."

"Aw. You have provided me with a clue. Since you call me husband, you must be... Goesha."

The next bite was considerably harder than the last nip and he'd yelped. Holding his arms up in surrender, he'd finally said, "If not Goesha, then there is only one you could be, Sha're."

She'd giggled in his ear, then her breath had come quickly and caressed his cheek as she'd murmured, "Sha're and one, my beloved. My body is no longer mine alone."

Sha're's hands had dropped and Daniel had turned in her arms to gaze up into her smiling brown eyes. "Sha're?"

"Yes, my Dan-yel. We are with child. And he shall look like you."

He'd jumped up and took her in his arms, then swung her about their home, her delighted squeals filling his ears.

And five months later, he'd sat outside his tent as Kasuf came out, his face pale and drawn.

"The Gods have taken your son, Daniel."

Stricken, Daniel had looked up and asked the only question that mattered. "And Sha're?"

"She will heal, my son. She grieves as much for you as for the child. Go to her, Daniel."

At that moment, Daniel had stuffed down his own feelings of loss then putting on a brave face, had stood and moved quickly into the tent and to his wife.

And from then on, he'd never once allowed his grief free rein. Until now, on his couch, so many years later, and while holding a silly piece of cloth.

The tears came then; silent, tracking down his cheeks. Tears for his son who would be four now and tears for the boy, the Harcesis, as much his son as Sha're's, and whom he'd left with others.

A great sob tore through him, the losses almost unbearable. First his son had been taken from him, then Sha're, twice, and now, another child.

God, he could still feel the soft warmth of the child in his arms, the tiny fingers grasping his larger ones, the baby grin and the soft murmurs and giggles.

In those brief moments, he'd bonded with Sha're's child as a mother would just after giving birth and holding her child for the first time. Dear God, how his arms ached. How difficult and nearly impossible it had been to give the child back, to sacrifice yet again.

Would he never have anyone to hold? To cherish and love? Would no one ever remain by his side? Aw, God, could he never keep anyone's love?

Feet on the edge of the coffee table, arms hugging his chest, Daniel mourned for his lost son, for Sha're, and for the child he'd held in his arms today, and for a love he could never have, let alone acknowledge anywhere but here. His nose became stuffed with his sobs, his eyes red-rimmed as in private, he grieved. Always in private. Always alone.

~~~~

Jack tossed the ball at the wall, then caught it as it bounced back to him. Gee, he was having fun. As he continued to throw the ball and catch it, he thought back to the day's adventure and thus... to Daniel. Oh, now there was something new, his thoughts turning to Daniel. Not. The ball shot past his hand and from behind him, Jack heard the crash.

"Damn."

Taking a deep breath, O'Neill turned his head and with one eye cracked open, looked.

Good. It was the vase Sam had given him last Christmas. No loss there. And what the hell had possessed the woman to give him a God damned fucking vase anyway? Jack got up, went into the kitchen, grabbed the broom and dustpan and returned to the living room. He cleaned up the glassy mess, dumped it all, retrieved his ball, sat down and started tossing it again. After all, there was still that God-awful dish on the side table that General Hammond's grand daughters had given him —

As the ball bounced, Daniel's blue eyes seemed to flow and eddy before Jack's brown ones. There'd been pain deep in those eyes and that worried Jack. Damn it, Daniel had looked so lost just before they'd headed out, standing there barefoot with that expression on his face. The expression that Jack hated with all his being. The one where Daniel looked just like a puppy that had hurt its paw and left Jack feeling helpless.

Damn you, Daniel. Damn you.

Jack let the ball drop from his hand. The silence that descended upon his home, now that the ball wasn't thudding against his wall, was broken by the ringing of his phone.

With a sigh, and knowing damn well the caller wasn't Daniel, Jack rose to answer it.

"O'Neill here."

Sir, it's Carter.

"Major. What can I do for you?"

Well, sir, Teal'c and I thought, perhaps, well, Daniel looked a bit—

"Lost, Carter?"

Umm, that's a good description, yes. Anyway, Teal'c and I thought maybe, if we all showed up on his doorstep, with pizza?

"Teal'c thought up the pizza?" Jack asked in awe.

Well, it's become a kind of favorite of his now.

"Uh-huh."

So what do you think, Sir?

"I think you've both gotten too smart for your own good. I'll meet you over at his place in one hour. And you two are paying."

Wouldn't have it any other way, Sir.

~~~~

The incessant buzz of the doorbell brought him swimming for consciousness. His head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, he was so stuffed up. His eyes burned as he squinted them open. Blearily looking around for his glasses he tried to figure out where he was.

The living room. His living room. Ah, now he remembered — he must have cried himself to sleep. He couldn't remember doing that since he was a small child and had lost his parents. He'd learned quickly, it didn't matter how lonely he felt, how many families he was dumped on, or how many people he lost; totally losing himself in grief wasn't allowed. It was the second? No, the third, foster family he was in. He'd started to really fall apart. It was the first anniversary of his parents' death, Nick hadn't come to visit and he was totally miserable. The fear of starting to cry and not being able to stop had just — hit him. He realized he couldn't control much, but not totally losing emotional control — that was something he could manage. Oh, sure, he cried on occasion, but it was never the soul-wrenching, cathartic, total-body experience that he'd just gone through. Sniffling with his stuffed head, he contemplated letting go again.

Bang, bang. "Daniel!"

The pounding on the door echoed the pounding in his head. He was going to get a sinus headache out of this for sure. His disjointed thoughts finally cleared enough for him to stumble to the door.

Swinging it open, he was met with three astonished faces and the scent of pizza.

"Daniel? What the hell? Are you all right? What happened? Can we come in?" His attention was pulled to Jack as he drilled questions faster than a P90 could spit rounds.

Washing a hand over his face, he looked at his three friends. "Um, look, I'm really not up to company at the moment, okay?"

"Daniel -" Sam's hand dropped onto his arm. "Maybe company is exactly what you do need."

He tried to fake a small smile and project confidence at the group in front of him, but knew he was failing miserably. "No, look, it's been a really long day, I'm tired. I appreciate all of you stopping by, but I'd really rather just get some rest."

Jack started to push forward into the apartment, forcing Daniel to step back and open the door wider. "I don't think so. Look Daniel, what ever it is, don't you think you'd be better off sharing it with us?"

Daniel could hear the unspoken "With me?" added to the end of Jack's question. But this was the one thing he couldn't talk to Jack about. The one thing that Jack understood too well. And Daniel was not about to rub Jack's loss of Charlie in that open wound while he dealt with his own demons.

Sam started to follow Jack into the apartment. "Look Daniel whatever it is, I'm sure you'll feel better talking about it. Have you eaten?" She waved the pizza box under his nose. Fighting down the roiling in his stomach, he pushed the box away.

"No. Yes." He stopped and rubbed at his burning eyes again. "No I won't feel better talking with all of you about this, and yes, I have eaten." Okay, he thought, that's mostly a lie, but it might get them to leave. He just wanted to take a hot shower, some sinus medication and crawl into bed.

"Danny, I don't think it's a good idea to leave you alone right now. If you're not up for all of us, why don't I stay and we'll let Carter and Teal'c take dinner and go."

Daniel noticed Teal'c still standing in the hallway.

"You said you did not wish visitors DanielJackson, I will not enter your home unwelcome." Daniel watched as Teal'c raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Sam and Jack.

"Oh, for cryin' — look Daniel, I just don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone, okay? I just don't. So you can have one of us stay and the others will leave. That's the best deal I've got for you."

Daniel leaned heavily against the door, still gripping the knob for support. Considering his options, he looked at each of them. Jack? Nope. Charlie eliminated that possibility. Sam? Nope. Mom-on-steroids was standing there with pizza in her hands and hope on her face. No go. Teal'c? Still standing in the hallway. No hovering, respectful of his privacy, wouldn't try to pry information out of him. He might, however, be willing to answer some questions that Daniel had. No contest.

Sighing, Daniel looked back at Jack and Sam. "Okay, you win." He watched as some of the tension melted out of Jack's shoulders. Sam looked a bit defeated, but put on a small grin of encouragement for him.

"Teal'c can stay with me."

Jack relief turned to concern and then pain in a matter of moments. Daniel cringed inside. It was because he didn't want to hurt Jack that he was doing this. Damn. Damage control time.

He focused directly on Jack, "It's not that I don't appreciate the concern, I do. I just need to think through this with a — " his voice trailed off.

With a — a what? A person less emotionally involved? No way he could say that. Someone with whom he didn't want physical comfort? That would go over well — not. And Daniel just knew that with his defenses this low, adding in a fight against his attraction for Jack O'Neill was not going to help his current situation.

Brown eyes pleaded for an explanation. Daniel picked up the thread of his argument; "I need to work this out in an academic context. Teal'c may have some historical information to help me work through the stuff that's bothering me."

The hurt look faded back into intense concern and that, Daniel supposed, he'd have to live with.

Jack and Sam moved past him to the door. "Thanks, I really do appreciate your concern." Sam reached up and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "You change your mind and want more company, you'll call, right?"

He nodded but was already focused on the warm chocolate eyes drilling into him. "I'll be okay, really I will."

Jack's squinted, his gaze assessing, then finally consented. "I don't —"

Daniel did smile this time, just a bit. "I know you don't like leaving — but I won't be alone and I will be okay." He patted Jack on the arm and watched as he gathered Carter and headed for the elevator.

"You can come in now."

Teal'c paused just a moment and then loomed into the apartment. Daniel shut the door and then stared at his semi-uninvited guest.

"They took your dinner. Are you hungry?"

Teal'c looked levelly at him. "I require no sustenance at this time."

Pushing himself off the door, Daniel gestured around. "Make your self comfortable. I'm going to make some fresh coffee and then grab a hot shower." He moved into the kitchen without awaiting an answer.

Twenty minutes later, coffee and sinus medication in hand, Daniel returned to find Teal'c watching a rerun of "The Muppet Show" on Disney.

"Your culture has a strange fascination with anthropomorphization DanielJackson."

Daniel watched the piano-playing chickens for a moment, then turned when the frog came back on screen. "Yeah, I guess people think animals are cuter than other people. Or maybe they just showcase lessons better. It might be harder to come off as preachy when you're a seven foot tall yellow bird."

Teal'c studied the singing pig for a moment and then picked up the scrap cloth from the table. "And what lesson does this teach?"

Daniel slowly sipped his coffee. He took the material and wove it through the fingers of his free hand. "Teal'c, symbiotes allow Jaffa to heal more quickly than humans, but do they also prevent illness? Or at least minimize the types of illnesses a body can get?"

If the non sequitor startled Teal'c he didn't show it. "My symbiote does function as an immune system, as you well know. But it also offers an extended type of protection against other medical problems. Jaffa do not normally concern themselves with cancer or many of the types of illnesses that I see discussed in the Tauri culture."

"What if a body is predisposed to a type of medical problem, say osteoporosis? Would the symbiote be able to affect that?"

"That type of an illness would not be an issue. Part of the symbiote's function is to evaluate the body's needs and ensure balance. Any deficiency would be dealt with in an expeditious manner."

Daniel bunched up the cloth and then smoothed it out. "What if the symbiote came to the body late? Would that matter?"

"Timing of the introduction of the symbiote does not affect its functional ability." Daniel could feel Teal'c's eyes on him. He focused more strongly on the cloth.

"Sha're was unable to carry a child to full term. But once she was infested with the Gou'ald —" His quiet voice trailed off.

"The Gou'ald would have been able to adjust and correct any problem associated with pregnancy. It would be a reason why Sha're was able to carry Apophis's child to term."

And not mine. Daniel added silently to himself.

"Are you sure that she was unable to carry a child? Conception can many times be difficult to achieve."

Daniel shook his head and pulled at the cloth. "We were — she — became pregnant shortly after we originally shut down the gate. It was unexpected, but given the lack of birth control options, not a total surprise. I was really looking forward to becoming a father. And Sha're, well she would have made a wonderful —-" He stopped for moment and cleared his throat. "Anyway, the pregnancy was hard on her. And at a little over five months, she went into an early labor. I almost lost her along with our son."

He looked up at Teal'c. The normally stern features had softened in concern, but to Daniel's great relief, he saw no pity in the Jaffa's eyes.

"Sha're recovered. I tried to be more careful about planning, but she was eager to try again. About two months before Jack sent that Kleenex box through the gate, we thought she was pregnant. She was so joyous when she told me! And then she became terribly ill for several days. When the illness was over, so was our joy. Twice in one year, Teal'c. Her body couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle carrying my child."

He got up from the couch and walked over to the balcony doors. "I always wondered if it was a genetic incompatibility between us. Just because the people of Abydos originated on Earth, didn't mean that their physical evolution was exactly the same."

Daniel leaned into the cool smoothness of the glass doors. "And then we go back to Abydos and there she was, nine months along. Shock isn't even the word to describe what I felt then. She was there. I never expected that. But that she was able to carry a child..." He forced down a small choke.

"I was never able to help her. Not when she was suffering with my child, not when she was taken to be a host and not even when she asked that I find and care for her child. I had to let someone else care for the boy." Daniel thumped his head against the glass. "I never got to hold my son, Teal'c, but when I held the Harcesis, I knew what it was like to be a father. I felt it. And now he's gone."

A tear slid down Daniel's cheek. He angrily swiped at it and then turned back to his friend. "My son died. I had the chance to care for Sha're's son, and I couldn't do it. I had to give him up, just like everyone else I've ever loved."

Daniel clutched the cloth in his fist and waved it at Teal'c. "You know what really strikes me? The one thing she and I wanted together could only be given to her by someone else. I wasn't enough."

Daniel shook his head, thoughts moving down a line of people he'd loved. His parents, Nick, Sarah. His mind traced to the more recent past: from Sha're to their son, to the child that was only a flash of love and finally, he let his mind admit: to Jack. If this whole incident had taught Daniel anything, it was that once again, just being Daniel Jackson was not enough. And thinking of Jack, he realized, just being Daniel Jackson never would be enough.

Steeped in his own thoughts, Daniel was unaware of Teal'c's gaze until the Jaffa's voice broke through.

"DanielJackson, I do not believe that there was any failure on your part, nor Sha're's in your attempts to bear children. It is not uncommon for child bearing to be difficult, even on Chulak."

Daniel looked up at his friend and smiled. It was a weak smile, but there, nevertheless. "It's not uncommon on Earth either, Teal'c. But the fact remains, she had his child."

"And perhaps that is the crust of the matter, DanielJackson?"

Daniel blinked behind his glasses, then shook his head. "Crux, Teal'c. Crux. And perhaps—you're right. But it doesn't take away from the fact that I failed her, failed my wife on every level."

"You found her son, DanielJackson and you ensured his safety."

Daniel raised a finger and shook it. "No, Sam and Bra'tak found the child. And I never had a choice, Teal'c. Never."

"Master Bra'tak and Major Carter found the possible planet, thanks to your knowledge of Egyptian myths. And only you found the Harcesis. Your ability to see beyond the obvious, beyond the known, allowed you to find the child. Are you not glad that you held him in your arms?"

Daniel glanced down at the scrap of cloth, then brought it up to his cheek. "I'm very glad, Teal'c. For a moment, as I held him, listened to his gurgles, he was mine. He was our child, Teal'c."

Daniel's voice broke as he remembered the feel of the baby, the warmth and the scent. He could still see that smile and those chubby little fingers seeking his, seeking his face.

"He has the knowledge of all the Gou'ald, DanielJackson, but he also has all the knowledge of his mother. And his mother loved only one—you. Therefore, you are his father. And as his father, you took the measures necessary to ensure his well-being and safety. Can anyone ask more?"

Daniel smiled, the cloth still held to his face. "You are a wise man, Teal'c. And a good friend."

"And a father who failed his own child, more than once. But R'yac lives and grows strong. And he loves his father still."

"You never failed him, Teal'c. Never. You also did what was necessary to protect him. Which is why he lives and grows strong. Never doubt that, Teal'c."

"I think it is time—to—how would Colonel O'Neill say it? Time to get—cemented?"

Chuckling, Daniel corrected, "Plastered, Teal'c. Plastered. And I think you're right."

~~~~

Daniel sat on the floor next to the coffee table, his legs crossed Indian style. Next to him, flat on his back, lay Teal'c. On the table sat two bottles of Bushmills, courtesy of a previous visit by Jack O'Neill.

"DanielJackson, I can not feel my mouth."

"That's all right. I can't make a fist."

"Do you wish to make a fist?"

"Mmm, no. Although, I've often wanted to, and then use it on Jack."

"But he is not here. Is it serious that I can not feel my mouth?"

"No. And you really don't want to tell Janet about that particular symptom, Teal'c. She'll get very angry with me."

Teal'c rolled to his side and braced his head on his hand. "Why should

DoctorFrasier be angry with you, when it is my mouth that I can not feel?"

"Because—I got you drunk."

"I am not drunk, DanielJackson. I simply can't feel my mouth."

"You're smiling. You never smile. I think that's why you can't feel your mouth. It's tired. It's never smiled before."

"Show me this smile."

Daniel dropped down next to Teal'c, braced his head on his hand and grinned. Then he pointed at his mouth. "This is a smile. You're doing it now."

Teal'c touched his mouth with his finger, then looked at Daniel's mouth. "This is not a bad thing. Humans smile often."

"So do your people, Teal'c. Ra'tak smiles often, doesn't he?"

"Ah. Yes."

"I think it's only Jaffa that don't smile. But it's obvious now that you can. Of course, it takes a bottle of Bushmills to accomplish, but it can happen."

"I did not drink an entire bottle, DanielJackson."

Daniel cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" Then leaning over Teal'c, he got up enough to scrabble on the table. His fingers finally found one of the bottles and he waved it in front of Teal'c's face.

"You drank this bottle. I drank the other."

"Ah, but this bottle was already half-empty. I do believe that O'Neill got to it before I did, DanielJackson."

Shaking his head firmly, Daniel said, "Nononono. I drank from the already open bottle, you drank from this one. Remember? You had to twist it open? Break the seal?"

"I think you lie, DanielJackson."

"I would never lie to you, Teal'c."

"I believe you are—under the table, DanielJackson."

"Under the influence, unless you mean that you drank me under the table, which you did not."

"Am I still smiling, DanielJackson?"

"Yes. You look funny too. I can see now why Jaffa don't ever smile. You look like a big pussycat."

Teal'c sat up. "Pussycat?"

"Yes," Daniel giggled like the drunk man that he was.

"And this is bad?"

"For me, no, for a Jaffa, yes."

"You are allowed to look like a pussycat, but I am not?"

"Well, a Jaffa loses something when looking like a pussycat. You lose your edge."

"I have an edge?"

"Definitely. A big, stern, six foot-five edge. And when you look like a pussycat, well," he reached out and patted Teal'c on the top of his head. "You look—sweet."

"This is not good, DanielJackson. How can I protect you if I look—sweet?"

"Well, who says I need protection?"

"Colonel O'Neill. You must be protected. You are not a soldier. You are valuable."

Daniel sat up sharply. "Not a soldier?" he squeaked. "Valuable?"

"O'Neill is correct, DanielJackson."

Daniel leaned in close to Teal'c, his eyes narrowed. "Colonel fucking O'Neill is not right, Teal'c. And haven't I covered your back? And Sam's? And—"

"Fucking O'Neill's?" Teal'c offered helpfully, with a hiccup.

"Damn right. Fucking O'Neill's back. Hell, I've fucking died protecting everyone's back! I protect back good, damn it."

"I agree, DanielJackson. You protect back very good. And the next time I see fucking O'Neill, I shall endeavor to tell him so."

"Thank you, Teal'c."

"We are very drunk, are we not, DanielJackson?"

"We are."

"I thought so."

~~~~

"Am I still smiling?"

Daniel turned to look at the Jaffa. "I'm afraid so."

"This is not good."

"It'll wear off, Teal'c. By tomorrow, no smile. Only a huge headache. Although," he patted Teal'c stomach, "our little friend in there will probably help you with what's called a hang over. I suspect the only one who will be miserable tomorrow, will be me."

"That is too bad, DanielJackson."

Daniel nodded glumly. Then he smiled. "But right now, I feel GREAT!"

"That is good, DanielJackson."

"Yes it is."

For several minutes, they were silent, then Teal'c said, "I would like to see my face, DanielJackson."

"I can do that. Hang on." Daniel scrambled to his feet, swayed a bit, giggled again, then moved to his bathroom. Under the sink, he found the old shaving kit he'd used for travel in the past. He pulled it out, unzipped it, and took out a shaving mirror. Holding it up, he said, "Whoopee!" Then he ran unsteadily back to the living room.

He squatted down in front of Teal'c and held the mirror up to the Jaffa's face. "Here you go, Teal'c. Look and weep."

Teal'c looked. Then he frowned. Then he smiled. One eyebrow shot straight up. "I believe the smile is quite—nice. And I do not look like a pussycat at all, DanielJackson."

"Riiight." Daniel snatched the mirror away and dropped it on the floor. "You look like a pussycat, Teal'c. Live with it."

"You sounded just like Colonel O'Neill."

"Did not."

"I believe you did."

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Are you arguing with me?"

"You are wrong, DanielJackson."

Daniel swayed again and fell back on his butt. Rubbing his left ass cheek, he said, "I am always wrong, Teal'c. Haven't you heard?"

"You are rarely wrong, DanielJackson, but now, you are."

Daniel wrinkled his face and said, "About —what?"

"This I do not know."

"Oh."

Daniel giggled again.

~~~~

Jack took a sip of the hot coffee and stared over at his friend's apartment building. He'd dropped Carter off at her home over three hours ago, then after stopping and getting himself four coffees to go, he'd driven back to Daniel's building and parked across the street. Which was where he was now. And he was debating. Should he go up? Or stay put?

"Damn you, Daniel."

And what the hell could Daniel and Teal'c be talking about anyway?

Jack looked at his watch. Okay, one more hour, then Jack was going to be pounding on Daniel's door.

One more hour.

~~~~

"Um, I have cheese."

"Cheese?"

"Cheddar. And Stilton."

"Cheddar and Stilton?"

"Mmm."

"That is all?"

"And oatmeal."

"Oatmeal?"

"Yes. Sit down. I'll make oatmeal and cheese."

Looking doubtful, Teal'c sat down. On the floor. Daniel looked down. "Um, Teal'c? The chair?"

"Of course." Teal'c got up, pulled out a chair and sat down.

Daniel moved about the kitchen, putting on hot water, measuring out the oatmeal, slicing cheese, then stirring oatmeal. When the cereal was done, he took down two bowls, took out two spoons and placed them on the table.

"Do you like white sugar or brown sugar with your oatmeal?" At Teal'c's expression, he said, "Scratch that. You've never had oatmeal. Okay. Brown sugar."

Daniel set the plate of cheese on the table, then took out the small container of cream and set it next to the bowls. Then he got out the brown sugar. When he sat down, he spooned some sugar onto the top of their cereal, then poured the cream.

"Okay, eat."

Teal'c watched Daniel pick up a spoon, stir his cereal around, then eat some. He did the same. "This is—good, DanielJackson."

"Fortifying."

"Good for drunks?"

"Very, Teal'c."

Teal'c tried some cheese. And smiled. Daniel smiled in return.

As they ate in companionable silence, Daniel's drunken haze lifted enough for a startled thought.

"Why did I have to protect the boy if Sha're already knew that Oma DeSala had him?"

"I do not understand, DanielJackson."

"Why did I have to search for the child if Sha're had already ensured his safety? Why? Why the whole message? Everything I went through?"

"I do not know, but—it is a good question. If the Harcesis was meant to be with these beings, then why indeed?"

No longer hungry and with the alcohol acting like a catalyst, Daniel pushed his bowl away and stood. Hurt and anger was visible in every line of his body.

"It makes no sense. What, was this just to torture me? To show me once again what I can never have?" His hand swept across the table, clearing it instantly. Dishes slid to the floor where they shattered.

Daniel stared at the mess, then turned on his heel and stalked out.

~~~~

Teal'c stood. His friend was in pain but this time, he doubted that he had any answers. He followed Daniel out into the living room.

Only he wasn't there. A sound alerted him and he turned. Daniel was on the balcony. Even from the living room, Teal'c could see the shudders running through his friend.

~~~~

Jack spotted Daniel as he stepped out onto the balcony.

"Jesus, Danny, where's your head? It's got to be 10 degrees out and there you stand, with no jacket on. Teal'c, get your butt out there, now."

When nothing happened and Daniel continued to stand in the cold, Jack snorted a bit, put down the coffee, took his key from the ignition and climbed out. He locked the door, checked traffic, then jogged across the street. He turned, rounded the corner and came to a stop below the balcony.

"DANIEL? GET YOUR ASS INDOORS RIGHT THIS MINUTE. YOU HEAR ME?"

The man in question put both his hands on the railing and leaned over.

"JACK? IS THAT YOU?"

"NO, YOU ASSHOLE, IT'S PINOCCHIO. GET INSIDE—NOW."

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

Jack's eyebrows rose. "Oh, really? Go fuck myself? My, my."

"DANIEL, IF YOU DON'T GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW, SO HELP ME, I'LL SIC FRASIER ON YOU!"

"YOU CAN TRY!"

Windows opened next to Daniel's place, above it, and below. Heads were stuck out. Jack ignored them.

"YOU'VE GOT TO THE COUNT OF TEN, DANIEL. IF YOU'RE NOT INSIDE BY THE TIME I REACH TEN, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!"

"SHUT UP, MOTHER FUCKER!"

That little piece of advice came from a man standing on his balcony–one floor below Daniel. Jack flipped him off and turned his attention back to Daniel. Who was flipping him off.

"TEAL'C? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

A dark figure stepped out next to Daniel. Teal'c peeked over the edge.

"I AM HERE, O'NEILL.'

"WELL, GET BACK INSIDE AND TAKE HIM WITH YOU! THAT'S AN ORDER."

"I SHALL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO BRING HIM INDOORS WITH ME, HOWEVER, YOU SHOULD NOTE THAT WE ARE BOTH—CEMENTED."

"PLASTERED!" Daniel corrected.

"INDEED. PLASTERED."

"Fer cryin' out loud. We are so dead here. Why do I not think this is how you keep a Jaffa top secret?" Jack sighed. Time to go upstairs.

~~~~

"O'Neill is right, DanielJackson. We should go inside."

"No. Don't want to."

"Are you not cold?"

"No."

Teal'c gave up. It was obvious that DanielJackson was not going to willingly come indoors. And since Teal'c had no doubt that Colonel O'Neill was on his way up, he simply picked DanielJackson up, threw him over his shoulder and stalked back inside.

~~~~

Upside down. Daniel was upside down. And he was definitely going to be sick. Very sick.

"I'm going to be sick, Teal'c."

"Should I take you into the bathroom?"

At that moment, Jack started pounding on the door. Teal'c, Daniel still over his shoulder, started for the door.

"Do not answer that, Teal'c."

"It is O'Neill."

"No doubt. Do not answer it."

"You are feeling better?"

"No, I'm gonna throw up in about two minutes. Don't let Jack in."

More pounding. Then—

TEAL'C? LET ME IN!

"I fear I must do as he says." Teal'c started for the door again.

"If you let him in, you will no longer be my friend and I'll tell everyone you look like a pussycat when you smile."

Teal'c sighed. Then continued on his way to the door. When he reached it, opened it.

~~~~

Jack was about to pound again when suddenly the door was opened and he was faced with Daniel's ass. And Teal'c. Who had Daniel over his shoulder. Which was why all Jack could see was Daniel's ass. Not that he was complaining.

"Uh—Teal'c?"

"He would not come indoors, O'Neill. We are—"

"Drunk," Jack supplied.

"Yes. Drunk."

"I see." Jack stepped in and shut the door. Then as Teal'c backed up, Jack moved around to Teal'c rear where Daniel still dangled.

"Um—Daniel?"

No answer.

"Daniel?"

Still no answer. Jack bent down, grabbed Daniel's head and lifted. Oops.

"Teal'c, he's passed out. Let's get him to bed."

"He said he was going to throw up."

"Oh, he will. Later. Right now, let's get him down."

Jack led the way and as they passed through the living room, he noticed the bottles.

"You drank my Bushmills?"

"DanielJackson was out of wine."

"Of course."

They entered the bedroom and as Jack turned on the light, Teal'c carefully deposited the unconscious man on the large bed.

"Do you require any assistance, O'Neill?"

"No, I can handle this."

"Very well. I believe—I would like some more oatmeal."

Jack stared at his friend. Who smiled.

Jack made the sign of the cross. "Oh God— don't do that, Teal'c."

Frowning, Teal'c left.

Which left Jack alone with a passed out Daniel.

As he took off the younger man's shoes, then his socks, Jack muttered, "The things I do for you, Daniel. The things I do for you. And I can't believe you got Teal'c drunk. Bet you taught him how to smile, too. Boy, that was sure dumb."

He removed Daniel's glasses, carefully folded them and set them on the night stand. Then he lifted Daniel up lovingly and gingerly removed his sweater. He started to unzip Daniel's Dockers, but shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. Tonight, you can sleep in them."

He managed to get the bed covers down from under Daniel, then tucked him in. As he stared at the sleeping man, he tenderly brushed his hand across Daniel's cheek.

"You're gonna feel like shit in the morning, babe."

Then he turned out the light and joined Teal'c in the living room.

~~~~

Teal'c sat on the couch, a bowl in his hands. He was eating oatmeal.

"Teal'c?"

"Oatmeal. DanielJackson made us oatmeal. He destroyed our original bowls, but there was more. This is very—fortifying. Good for drunks."

"Oh, swell. Now I'm baby-sitting a snockered archeologist and a drunk, oatmeal-eating Jaffa. This is not my night."

"Our snockered archeologist is very upset. He has many questions, O'Neill. But his last one, I'm afraid I failed him. I could not help."

Jack sat down next to his friend, reached over, picked up one of the bottles and noticed a bit of liquid left. He upended the bottle, drank the last dregs, and wiping his mouth, said, "Okay, shoot."

Teal'c turned his head and blinked as one eyebrow rose elegantly. "I do not have my staff weapon, O'Neill."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I mean, tell me all about it"

"Ah. I see. It would appear that DanielJackson has been contemplating why Sha're sent him in search of the Harcesis if she knew the child was already safe."

Shifting a bit on the couch so he was propped up in the corner, Jack looked at Teal'c. "And this was something he couldn't discuss with me? This was something that you two needed to spend hours exploring while drinking all my Bushmills?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow again, then gave Jack another smile. Jack decided that "smile" and "Jaffa" didn't go together, which met he'd really have to talk to Teal'c about it at some point, but clearly—not now.

"No, the issue of Sha're's reasons for sending DanielJackson to look for the Harcesis have only just come up. The rest of the conversation did not revolve around those motivations."

Jack sat and waited. Teal'c spooned more oatmeal into his mouth and appeared to quite enjoy the taste. Jack continued to wait, dragged a hand through his hair, and sighed. "Well then what else would you kids be chatting about for the last several hours?"

Teal'c set his spoon in the bowl. "The loss of his child. Well to be precise, I believe we were talking about the loss of his children and how DanielJackson takes responsibility for their lack of gestation."

Jack sat up in the corner of the couch, "Excuse me?"

Teal'c took another spoonful of oatmeal, calmly chewed it and replaced the spoon in the bowl. "During the year that DanielJackson spent on Abydos, he and Sha're conceived a child. Sha're was unable to bear the child to a full term and their son was stillborn at five months. That event, coupled with what they assumed was a later miscarriage, has DanielJackson concerned that he was not able to give Sha're the life and events that she most needed. DanielJackson feels he failed in the one important area where Apophis was most successful."

Leaning forward, Jack studied Teal'c intently. The Jaffa returned to eating his oatmeal and Jack felt his mind reeling. Daniel, a father? Well, to be honest, the guy would have made a great dad, but why hadn't he said anything? Jack, better than anyone, understood the pain that went along with the loss of a child. And Daniel could have — no wait, Daniel wouldn't have —

Crap.

Jack thought back to all the times Daniel had prompted or supported him concerning Charlie. Helping after that crystal had turned into a replica of his son; staying with him on Christmas Eve when Jack would rather have just drunk himself into forgetting; showing up on Charlie's birthday to make sure Jack was okay; quietly offering company on other occasions. Daniel, always giving his quiet support and paramount concern for Jack's feelings. When a "dad thing" came up, Daniel's first thought was Jack. It probably never occurred to him that Jack could, or would want to, offer support, too. Daniel would have been too worried about anyone else to consider asking for anything for himself. And now, the Harcesis.

Double crap.

Sighing, Jack stood and walked over to the window. Night was fading and he watched the stars twinkle for a moment. "You said you were able to answer all of his questions but one —" Jack turned and leaned back against the cool glass.

Teal'c set the now empty bowl on the coffee table and levelly looked into Jack's eyes. "I was able to explain that the Gou'ald inside of Sha're should have been able to compensate for problems during the pregnancy. I also was able to show DanielJackson that Sha're wanted him to be this child's father. But in designating him as such, he had to choose protecting the child over raising it."

Teal'c looked longingly at the empty bowl.

"Sha're's motivations for sending him on this quest are not so clear. He wonders if it is a punishment for his failure. I do not believe this to be so. But unfortunately, DanielJackson became agitated before we were able to discuss Sha're's intentions. Nor was I able to disabuse him of the thought that he was being punished by losing the child."

Jack cocked his head thinking. "Well, Teal'c, my first thought would be that Sha're wanted Daniel to have closure on this whole thing. If the kid was safe, then he'd be able to go on without worry about where it is or why it's out there. I think she'd want him to see that he could choose what he does next with a free conscience. There is no "gotta" in this. Daniel doesn't have to do anything, not keep looking, not go through the 'Gate, not wander the stars. Now it's up to him alone."

Jack walked over and plopped back down on the couch. "The question is how do we get him to see that?" Rubbing a hand across his eyes, he looked at Teal'c. "And how do we convince him that without this crusade, he still needs to stay on the team? Cause, I'll tell ya, as much as some of this first contact diplomacy drives me up a wall, it'd be a hell of a lot harder without Daniel there."

Not to mention, Jack thought to himself, a hell of a lot lonelier. Jack opened his mouth to ask a question when a moan caught his attention. Turning, both men watched Daniel sway from his bedroom to the bathroom.

"Great, now the fun begins." Jack stood. "You feeling okay, Teal'c?"

"I believe my symbiote has taken care of the majority of the side effects of getting 'plastered,' O'Neill. Unfortunately, I do not believe DanielJackson will be spared. I shall meditate here for a while. Do not hesitate to retrieve me if you need my assistance."

Jack smiled sardonically down at him, "Trust me, I've dealt with a lot of hangovers in my time. I think I can handle this. If the Air Force gave out medals for them, I'd have decorations up the wazoo."

Teal'c raised a brow, "Wazoo?"

Jack closed his eyes in consternation, "Um, it means, up your — Never mind. I'll explain it later."

~~~~

Knocking lightly on the bathroom door, Jack started to push it open. "Daniel?"

"Go away. Just let me die in peace in here."

Jack pushed the door open and stepped in. "You know the last time you told me to leave you alone and die in peace I got to ride on the Space Shuttle. What do I win this time?" Jack forced out the snarky comment with a shudder.

Daniel looked up blearily while leaning over the toilet. "You know, if I could, I'd throw up on your shoes right now."

Pulling a washcloth through cold water, Jack leaned over and wiped Daniel's face. "But you can't?"

Daniel leaned into the cool cloth and closed his eyes. "No, I always feel like I'm going to be sick, but it never happens. To be honest, I think the alcohol just passes thorough me too quickly. I pee and have a headache, but I don't really think it's an appropriate hangover."

Snorting in amusement, Jack rinsed the cloth again and returned to soothing Daniel. "You know, you're the only person I know who'd complain about the 'appropriateness' of a hangover."

Taking the cloth from Jack's hand Daniel ran it down his throat and around his nape. "Yea, well, I'm the only person you know who can say hangover in 23 languages, so let's not go there right now, okay?"

Handing the cloth back to Jack, Daniel pushed himself up. Wobbling, he grasped the sink for support. "I can do this next part without help —" He looked up at Jack from under dark lashes.

Jack set the cloth on the counter and exited. "I'll be right —" Jack gestured to the hallway.

Leaning against the wall, Jack tried to collect his thoughts. How was he going to broach this with Daniel? His thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of the toilet flushing and then water running in the sink. Jack pushed off of the wall, ready to offer support.

Daniel emerged from the bathroom walking with a crooked gait. He must have run his head under the faucet when he washed his hands, as his hair was standing every which way. He blinked in surprise at Jack's presence and turned back toward the bedroom.

"There's oatmeal in the kitchen if you're hungry," Daniel said in a quiet voice.

Jack grabbed his arm and pulled Daniel short of the doorframe. "Let's try going through the door instead of into it, okay?"

Steering Daniel toward the bed took more strategy than Jack had planned on. He'd been in planes in a hurricane that flew straighter than this. Finally maneuvering Daniel down to the mattress, Jack pulled up the sheet and blankets. Tucking him in, Jack stood back for a moment and then was surprised when Daniel's hand snaked out from under the blankets and grabbed his.

Jack sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm here, Danny. Why don't you try and rest?"

The grip tightened and Jack shifted to lean against the headboard. Dazed eyes studied him for a moment and Jack leaned in to decipher the mumbles aimed at him.

" — never quite enough, you know Jack? I'm just not. It gets tiring being —"

"Damnit, Daniel!" Jack leaned in to argue and heard Daniel's breathing slow into the even cadence of sleep. Settling his legs up on the bed, Jack leaned back and tried to relax.

"This isn't over yet, Danny, not by a long run."

Hours of worry, sitting in a cold car and too many revelations finally caught up with him. Dozing off, Jack firmly clenched Daniel's hand to his chest and slept.

~~~~

BBBbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzz.

The vibration was the first thing he noticed. His pager was cutting into his back. The second was that his back was broken, or at least felt that way. Opening an eye, Jack looked around.

He was dreaming, that was it. He must still be asleep, because he was waking up in Daniel's bedroom. The pager vibrated again and he heard a groan from his right side.

As he looked down, pieces of last night, well, early this morning, flooded into his head and he muttered, "Oh Daniel, we really need to talk."

Bubbbbbzzzzzzzzz.

Reaching back, Jack grabbed the pager from his waistband and looked at the readout. Sitting up, he grabbed for the phone on the nightstand. After punching in the number, he waited. He had barely gotten out "O'Neill" when the General's voice boomed through the earpiece.

"We need you back on base immediately. SG7 has run into trouble and needs assistance. Do you still have Teal'c and Dr. Jackson with you?"

"Yes, Sir, but they haven't had their stand down, and I really —"

Hammond cut him off, "It doesn't' matter, we need you now. Can you be on base in 30 minutes and ready for a briefing?"

"Yes, Sir," Jack hung up the phone and gently squeezed the hand he still held in his own.

"Daniel? We're needed at the base."

~~~~

Daniel had no idea how he had managed to dress, but he did. Jack had tried to help, but Daniel had batted the man's hands away. He then grabbed his clothes and hightailed it to the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him. The next several minutes had been a blur as he'd played pinball in the bathroom, he being the silver ball. He was pretty sure he'd bumped into the toilet a couple of times trying to get his pants on, and the sink bounced him into the shower stall once while trying to put on his socks. He probably should have sat down for that—

He shaved, just missed slicing off his nose by a few centimeters, then brushed his teeth—and jaw. He should have brushed first, then he could have used the toothpaste on his jaw to shave with, but hey, hindsight was—hindsight.

Okay, he was ready to face the world, and Jack, which forced him to face the events of last night. As in—what the hell had happened? Just exactly what had he done while under the influence of Bushmills? There was also the little matter of waking up in bed with Jack. Waking up to Jack's voice was not unheard of, but holding his hand? Definitely new.

Daniel lifted the hand that had been gripping Jack's and he wiggled the fingers. Felt the same. But damn, he thought as he stared at it, this is one lucky hand.

Daniel opened the door and stepped out into his—empty—bedroom.

"What? You really thought Jack would still be here? Maybe — naked?" he whispered to himself.

Would have been nice.

Daniel put on his shoes and walked out into the living room.

~~~~

Jack stood behind the couch and stared, open-mouthed. Teal'c was sound asleep and—smiling. Still.

This was just not right. And it was all Daniel's fault. Jaffa did not smile and most certainly not in their sleep. This could ruin a perfectly good warrior.

"Hey, Ja—"

"Ssh." Jack pointed down and Daniel stepped close, smelling of after shave and minute fresh Crest.

"Um—Jack? He's—smiling," Daniel whispered.

"I know and it's your fault." Then with a wicked gleam, Jack hissed out, "Go get your camera—quick. This'll kill Bra'tak."

"God, you're incorrigible. And isn't General Hammond waiting?"

"Damn. Okay, I'll wake him while you—"

Daniel was already on his way to the kitchen muttering, "Coffee, coffee, coffee—"

Looking after him, Jack continued, "—go get coffee."

~~~~

"Teal'c, you don't look so good," Daniel observed as they headed toward the front door.

"I am well. Except—my mouth. I believe it is paralyzed."

Jack stifled a grin. "Oh, don't worry, Teal'c, that's a natural reaction to oatmeal. By the time we get to base, you'll be fine." Then Jack looked at Daniel. "Of course, Mr. Sunshine here won't be back to normal until January, 2003."

"Ha-ha, Jack," Daniel said weakly.

Jack tossed Daniel his jacket, then opened the door for his two hungover friends. They rode down to the lobby, Teal'c silent, eyes fixed straight ahead, Daniel leaning against the wall, head back, eyes tightly shut.

"Hey, buddy, looking a little green there. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Jack," Daniel said through clenched teeth.

"I was asking Teal'c, " Jack teased.

"I am not green, O'Neill."

"I believe you're right, Teal'c. I think it's a reflection off of

Daniel."

"Bite me, Jack."

As they stepped out of the elevator and then onto the sidewalk in front of Daniel's building, Daniel groaned.

"Sunglasses, Daniel."

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Daniel took them out and with shaking hands, slipped them on. Sighing in relief, he started toward his car.

"We can go in the Jeep. I'll bring you back." As Daniel seemed to balk, Jack added helpfully, "It'll give you time to rest? Get a handle on that headache—"

Daniel turned back toward Jack and Teal'c.

~~~~

"Three members of SG7 are missing. What we know is that the town is approximately five miles from the 'gate. The storm hit unexpectedly and the damage to the area surrounding the town was heavy. You have a small window of opportunity to get to Nagura before the next storm hits. Everything you'll need is waiting for you in the gate room. Any questions?"

"When was the last communication, General?" Sam asked.

"At 0600 this morning. Their transmission was weak and we've been unable to raise them since." He looked around the table, then asked, "Anything else, SG1?"

"I think that does it, Sir."

"Very good, Colonel." Then he noticed Daniel's pallor. "Doctor Jackson, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

Hammond glanced at Jack who nodded and said, "We're ready, General."

"Very well."

~~~~

"You really okay, Daniel?"

They stood at the foot of the ramp, the equipment between them. Sam and Teal'c were ahead of them and already starting up. Daniel didn't take his eyes off of the other two as he hissed back, "I'm fine, Jack. Let's go."

Jack put his sunglasses in place and started forward and into the event horizon. Daniel entered seconds later.

~~~~

"I knew it."

Sam looked up from where Daniel was currently throwing up to the right of the 'Gate. "Sir?"

"Nothing." Jack put his glasses on top of his cap, then leaned down. "Daniel?"

"Shut up, Jack. Just shut up."

"Hey, at least you were able to throw up. This is a red letter day."

Daniel closed his eyes as Sam rubbed his back. Teal'c watched, then

said, "Oatmeal, O'Neill?"

Jack sniggered. "Yeah, Teal'c, oatmeal."

"So help me, Jack—"

"Sorry, Daniel. And I hate to interrupt your worship of PX4-389 but that storm will be moving in—-"

Daniel rose shakily to his feet. "I'm up, I'm up. Let's go."

"Daniel, you sure?" Sam asked, her hand still on his back.

"I'm sure." He took his water bottle and opened it, swallowed some of the contents, then turned away. After rinsing his mouth, he spit, then repeated the whole sequence. Feeling better, he said, "Let's go."

Jack slipped his glasses back down and as they picked up their packs and additional supplies and headed out.

The air was thick with moisture and static electricity, the ground wet and muddy. Overhead, dark clouds were amassing and off to their left, the sound of distant thunder could just be heard.

"How long do you think we have, Colonel," Sam asked, her eyes on the rapidly darkening sky.

"Not nearly long enough, Major. Let's hustle people."

They started jogging.

~~~~

The trip to Nagura was difficult, the terrain slippery and muddy. There were trees down, forcing them to either skirt around them or go over them. They spotted their first sinkhole less than a mile from the 'gate.

"Oh, this is cute," Jack observed wryly.

"I suspect it won't be the last one, Sir," Carter added.

They kept going, albeit a great deal more cautiously.

~~~~

According to all information, they were a mile away from the town when the first of the storm hit. And it was nothing like anything on Earth. The water had an oily feel to it and came down with such power that it actually hurt. The wind blasted them and seemed to come from all directions. By the time they sloshed down what appeared to be the main road of the town, the thunder was so loud, all four members of SG1 had headaches.

They paused and Sam yelled over the wind, "DO YOU SEE A BUILDING, COLONEL?"

Jack peered through the binoculars and finally nodded. "STRAIGHT AHEAD, MAYBE FIFTY YARDS!"

They ran, packs and supplies bouncing. When they arrived in front of the structure, they groaned. Half of the roof was gone.

"THIS ISN'T GOING TO SHELTER US, O'NEILL!" Teal'c yelled.

"I KNOW. LET'S GO."

They continued on and had gone another half mile when a man appeared out of nowhere. It was Captain Michaels of SG7.

"THIS WAY, COLONEL O'NEILL. FOLLOW ME!"

SG1 followed almost blindly. Another few feet and another large building loomed up. A huge door was slid open and Michaels pushed them all inside, then turned and slid the door shut. And a miracle happened. Silence. Complete silence.

Jack pushed back the hood of his rain slicker and looked around, amazed. They were in a cavernous building but could hear nothing of the storm raging outside. However the structure had been put together, it completely shielded them.

"That was close, Colonel," Michaels said, pushing back his own hood. "In another ten minutes—I doubt that I would have been able to spot you."

Sam, eyes taking in the empty building, said, "Are storms always like this?"

"According to Tarman, the town mayor, yes. This is the communal building and during the stormy season, all the townspeople gather here every time the warning goes out. When this storm hit, they barely had enough time—there was no warning."

Jack looked around and cocked his head. "Captain, um, where would these townspeople be?"

"Oh, sorry, Sir. This part of the structure is used for storing their harvest. The townspeople are this way."

They followed him across the room to another door, which he opened. Michaels stepped aside and SG1 entered.

Daniel stepped ahead of Jack, eyes wide with wonder.

The room was even more massive than the one they'd just come from. Against the farthest wall, which Daniel figured to be about one football field away, stood rows of tables, cupboards and counters. To their right, bunk beds—about a hundred of them. To the left, was what Daniel guessed to be the living area. At the moment, it was full of people—staring at them. One of them, a man dressed all in black, stepped forward.

"Welcome, friends. I am Tarman."

~~~~

"This is fucking unbelievable," Jack observed as he gazed around him. Tarman had led them to the others and after a brief reunion with the few members of SG7 who were not missing, they were now staring at entire families grouped around five large fire pits. Some sat on the floor playing games, while others collected in secluded corners, talking or reading. Tarman had informed them that the evening meal would be in less than an hour and that had been borne out by the number of women who'd left the living area and started toward the large tables they'd all noticed upon their arrival.

As Daniel looked around, he found that there were more people than beds. He turned back to Michaels.

"Captain, there are well over a 100 people here, but only about a 100 beds—"

"The other room," he pointed to another door next to the beds, "is for the children."

"Ah. That explains it."

"Michaels, maybe now," Jack interrupted, "would be a good time to tell us what happened?"

Michaels scratched the back of his head and nodded. "Colonel Marsden took Doctor Rodriquez and Lieutenant Abrahms to scout the surrounding area. See, the Nagurans did not build this structure. When their ancestors arrived, this was already standing. And supposedly, about five miles east of here, there's a temple."

Michaels looked at Daniel and smiled. "You can imagine the Doc's excitement when he heard about this temple." At a look from Jack, Michaels hurried on. "Anyway, the storm hit without warning and we managed to get in here, but haven't been able to communicate with Colonel Marsden since the storm."

"What about during the lull?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. I took two men and we did a recon of the area but came up empty. There was so much damage that we only got maybe—two miles, tops. Then we were forced back."

"So we head out as soon as this storm lets up," Jack said firmly. "Don't worry, we'll find them."

A bell sounded at that moment and Michaels smiled. "Dinner bell," he said with a humorous shrug.

Both SG teams stood aside as the people of Nagura headed for the communal tables. Children were seated at one set, the adults at another. As the noise level rose, now that everyone was concentrated in one area, Jack looked over at Michaels and asked, "Have you been eating with—"

Anticipating the question, Michaels nodded. "The Doc insisted. The elders, those are the ones all in gray, seem to know the greatest amount of history and we were invited to eat with them."

Jack turned to his Doc. "Well, Daniel?"

Daniel shrugged and they all trooped over to the tables. A tall man in gray stood and waved them to his table.

"I am Mitan, please, join us. We have made room."

SG1 and the remaining members of SG7 sat down on the bench opposite and watched as their plates were piled high with hot, steaming food. Michaels, who sat next to Jack, whispered, "It's just a stew, Sir. Pretty good too."

Glasses were passed around and again Michaels informed them that it was the Naguran's version of ale. Jack took a tentative sip and then smiled.

"Not bad. Spicy, crisp, kinda yeasty. Not bad at all."

Sam rolled her eyes and as Teal'c reached for his, Jack slapped the Jaffa's hand away.

"Nuh-uh, Teal'c. This is the Naguran equivalent of oatmeal. And Daniel, none for you, either."

"I believe that I am acquiring a taste for oatmeal, O'Neill."

"That very well may be, but I refuse to work this mission with a Jaffa who's wearing a ridiculous grin."

Daniel looked over at the children's table and spotted several pitchers. "I assume," he asked, "that the children don't drink this ale?"

Michaels shook his head. "No, they're drinking a kind of fruit punch."

Daniel nodded, swung his leg over the bench and headed over to the children.

As he got closer, one small boy, eyes dark as coal and hair black and curling, got up and ran to him. Tugging his shirt until Daniel knelt down, the boy said, "you sit wif us."

Looking at the happy face, Daniel found himself nodding. One small, sticky hand grabbed his and the next thing he knew, he was being led to the middle table. The other children became very quiet as the small boy sat down and patted the spot next to him.

"Sit."

"Right. Sit." Daniel sat. A moment later, one of the ladies brought his plate of stew and grinning, set it down in front of him. He reached out and snagged one of the pitchers.

"Could you take this to my friends?"

She nodded, gave him a small curtsy, then left. He watched as the pitcher was set down in front of Teal'c and he gave the Jaffa a thumbs-up sign. Then his arm was tugged and he turned.

"Me name if Bondy."

The little boy had to be about four and he'd lost his front tooth already. Daniel smiled and held out his right hand. "I'm Daniel, Bondy."

Bondy stared at the pale hand, then grinned and slipped his into it. "Me big, me shake."

Nodding, Daniel agreed. "You are big. Shaking is very grown-up."

Bondy poked the little girl next to him and said, "Sister. Belsef."

Daniel had pretty much figured that Belsef was actually Belseth and he nodded. She looked to be about eight or so and she immediately stuck out her hand.

"I'm big too!"

Which explained why Daniel didn't eat much. He was too busy shaking hands with every child in the building.

~~~~

Daniel did manage a few bites as the meal progressed, but mostly he found his attention captivated by the eager laughing faces of the children of Nagura. For over an hour, it was as if he were back on Abydos, watching the children of his adopted world play and live life.

Bondy had taken a proprietary stance with Daniel, claiming the archeologist for himself. In spite of his youth, the others deferred to him and Daniel found that the most captivating of all. On several occasions, Daniel found Jack's gaze riveted on the children's table and he wasn't surprised. He'd bet anything that Jack would prefer sitting with these kids than at the main table.

Daniel couldn't help the smirk that crossed his face at the thought that he, the unofficial speaker for SG1 was at the kid's table and Jack, the very official "shoot, don't talk" leader of SG1 was stuck talking to the elders. Of course, Daniel would hear about it later, in great detail and would undoubtedly pay dearly, but for now—he sat back and enjoyed the childish sounds, the free, high giggles and the playful antics.

~~~~

"You are so dead, Jackson."

The evening meal was over and Daniel had just concluded a talk with Metan, who had just walked off to ask Teal'c a question. At Jack's words, Daniel turned an innocent eye to Jack, cocked an eyebrow and said, "Moi? Pray, what could I have done this time?"

"You know damn well what you did. Leaving me with the Elders while you run off and play with children?"

Daniel smiled. He couldn't help it. Jack was so predictable. Then he harrumphed a bit, wiped the grin off and said with complete sincerity (not), "Why Jack, the Elders love you. They're downright enamored of you. And would you just look at my shirt," for emphasis, he pulled at it and pointed, "look at the food all over it. This could be you. But, no, thanks to me and my sacrifice, I'm the one with the shirt serving as a food canvas for a bunch of four and five year olds. Jeez, you never appreciate me, Jack. I'm hurt." Then for greater effect, he sighed heavily, lowered his head and walked off. He wasn't the least bit surprised when Jack grabbed at his sleeve.

"Whoa, buddy. Don't give me that Danielmartyr routine. I insist you introduce me to the kids—pronto."

Daniel shook his head in wonder. Jack was nothing but a great big kid. Taking his hand, he said, "Okay, Jackee, come this way. Big ol' Daniel'll introduce you but you have to promise to play nice, hear?"

"Putz."

Chuckling, Daniel led Jack to the corner of the main living space. After the evening meal, the children were allowed to play quietly together before being trundled off to bed. As he and Jack approached, Bondy immediately detached himself from the group and ran to Daniel. Wrapping both arms around Daniel's legs, he looked up and grinned his semi-toothless grin. "Pway wif me?"

Daniel smiled fondly down at the boy and swung him up into his arms. Ruffling his dark curls, he said, "Well what do you know? It just so happens that I brought you a playmate. Bondy, meet Jack."

Suddenly shy eyes were turned to Jack who grinned and held out his hand. "Hey, Bondy. Good to meetcha."

Bondy's grin widened and he took Jack's hand. "You pway wif me and Danyel?"

"You bet. Lead on, kiddo."

The children of Nagura were surprised when, for the next hour, two adults played the Naguran version of catch and then taught them a new game called Hide and Seek. Jack somehow ended up being the one who had to continually seek, much to Daniel's delight. Eventually several of the adults wandered over to watch, clearly surprised. While the Nagurans loved their children dearly, playing with them was a foreign concept.

Metan, Sam at his side, nodded at the sight of a blindfolded Jack, arms out in front of him as he sought out a giggling child, and asked, "Is this customary on your planet, Major Carter?"

Smiling, Sam nodded. "Yes. We call it allowing the child within to come out and play every now and then."

Metan cocked his head. "The child within?"

Sam pursed her lips and after trying to figure out how to express it, finally said, "I expect Daniel could do a better job of explaining, but basically we believe that every adult still carries within them, the child that they were and that sometimes, you need to let that child out."

"Ah. I see." But it was clear from his still-puzzled expression that he didn't really see at all. Sam raised her hand and caught Daniel's attention. He nodded and walked over, Bondy laughing as he swung back and forth from Daniel's neck.

"Daniel, perhaps you could explain the inner child philosophy to Metan?" Sam asked, her expression smug.

Before he could say a word, Bondy held out one arm and said, "Da?"

Metan started to refuse, but at a glance at the boy's shining face, he took the arm and allowed Bondy to swing from Daniel's back to his own. Bondy wrapped his arms around Metan's neck and rested his cheek against the older man's hair. "Da," he said contentedly. Metan's face flushed a deep red.

"Major, I don't believe Metan really needs to have the inner child explained," Daniel observed, a soft smile playing about his lips.

Metan smiled back and ducked his head a bit. "Yes, it would seem that I understand this — philosophy — after all. Thank you."

~~~~

"So Metan is Bondy's father?" Jack asked as he prepared his sleeping bag.

"Apparently. Which explains why the other children defer to him so easily," Daniel said from the comfort of his bag. "Although, Bondy is totally unaware. And at four, he's already a natural leader."

Jack sat down on top of his now ready bag and crossed his legs. From his vantage point, he could see Sam and he suddenly grinned. "I think Carter is one pissed off Major."

Daniel lifted his head, grinned and nodded. "I'd say you were right. The only female so she gets to sleep all by herself, a room length away from us."

"Hey, at least they let her stay out here. I heard a distinct rumor that they were going to make her sleep with the children."

As both men resettled, two Nagurans moved about the large area and began to extinguish half the candles, dimming the room in the process. The fires had been banked and an eerie quiet descended. Teal'c was on guard duty for the first watch, SG7 taking over the remaining watches throughout the night. Just because they appeared to be safe was no reason to let down their guard, so to speak.

"Any word on the storm?" Daniel asked around a yawn.

"Kordu, Metan's brother and the weather expert, said that he felt by the morning, we should be able to do a search for the rest of SG7."

"Let's hope Kordu is a much better weatherman than any of ours."

"Amen." Jack gazed around the room and gave a low whistle. "I still can't get over this whole communal-come-in-from-the-storm thing the Naguran's have going."

Eyes closed, Daniel said, "Well, their rainy season only lasts what would be a month on Earth and judging by what we saw, the Nagurans are lucky."

"Yeah? One month? So what you're saying is that one a month a year their world is turned upside down and for the next eleven, they rebuild?"

"And replant. See, this season literally re-fertilizes the soil. Turns it over. They plant, they harvest, they store, then the rainy season hits, the soil is literally reborn and then they start all over again. And yeah, according to Metan, some of them do lose their homes, but once the season is over, it doesn't take much for the people to regroup and help in any rebuilding that's needed."

"You learned all that while eating with the children?"

Daniel cracked open one blue eye. "Ha, ha, Jack."

"So do we know who built this place?"

"I'd say the Ancients, judging by the writings on the walls of that outer room. Not a Gou'ald in sight and no need for the Asgard. No Thors," Daniel finished with a smile, a smile that ended with another yawn.

Jack uncrossed his legs and settled down. He was dying to ask Daniel about all that he'd said to Teal'c about Sha're, but something told him that now was not the time. Daniel seemed to actually be in a good mood and he was enjoying the Nagurans. Daniel and good moods lately were few and far between and Jack was a patient man. He'd wait for the right moment.

~~~~

Kodru turned out to be spot on. The morning dawned without a drop of rain or a wisp of wind. It was quickly decided that Sergeant Peters, along with a young Naguran named Siltar, would accompany SG1 on their search for Colonel Marsden, Doctor Rodriquez and Lieutenant Abrahms. Captain Michaels would remain with the Nagurans and render any assistance needed as they checked out the damage.

The large doors were opened to reveal sparkling sunshine and rain-kissed plant life. The sky overhead was the brightest blue that any member of SG1 had seen and there wasn't so much as a powder puff of a cloud to mar the beauty.

Jack stepped out and immediately put on his sunglasses, then whistled. "Sweet."

Sam, her shades in place, nodded. "Incredible."

Teal'c looked up and said, "The sky is the approximate color of DanielJackson's eyes."

Daniel, who had stepped ahead of the others, stopped, turned and dropped his glasses down on his nose. "Excuse me, Teal'c?"

Jack and Sam mirrored Daniel's move as Teal'c shrugged. "Darker than Major Carter's but if you examine—"

Jack held up a hand. "TMI, Teal'c. TMI."

Teal'c arched an eyebrow, then proceeded forward. Jack shook his head and muttered darkly, "This is all Daniel's fault. Oatmeal, my foot."

As Daniel took off after Teal'c, he threw over his shoulder, "I heard that, Jack."

"You were supposed to."

Jack slipped his glasses back up and with a nod to Peters and Siltar, who looked really puzzled, they both headed out, Carter just ahead of them.

No one noticed the two children who peeked around the corner of the building and then darted out, their intent being to follow their heroes, Daniel and Jack.

~~~~

The going was slow as the damage from the storm had left downed trees and paths that had been washed out. As they walked, eyes taking in the damage, Jack was surprised that they'd spotted no signs of the village, nor any other building. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he asked Siltar.

"Where, exactly, is the village, Siltar?"

"Our town is five kornacs from our shelter, Colonel O'Neill, in the opposite direction. We have no farms on this side."

Jack looked at Peters, who shrugged. Daniel, hiding his grin, said, "Five kornacs is about eight miles, Jack."

"You know this already?"

Daniel held out his hands and shrugged.

"I hate you, Daniel."

The hated man in question snorted.

"I knew it, Colonel."

Jack turned to Sam and with a grin, said, "Duh."

"I also knew, O'Neill."

"Teal'c, shut up."

~~~~

"The temple is up ahead, Colonel O'Neill. Just over that rise," Siltar stated.

"Uh-huh."

All six stood on rocky terrain, but in front of them the ground was depressed and damp. As Jack peered at the space between them and the small hill ahead, he said, "This looks like the leftovers of a flash flood. Could Colonel Marsden have been caught in this?"

"Or," Daniel suggested hopefully, "could they have tried to outrun it?

Are there any caves or any type of shelter near here?"

Siltar nodded excitedly. "Yes, in that direction. Depending on the direction they may have approached the temple, yes, they could have made it to the caves. Follow me."

The group changed direction and as Siltar took the lead, two shadows detached themselves from a large tree and followed.

~~~~

"Holy shit," Jack said as he stared at the mass of mud and debris that had piled up against the entrance to the cave. He took off his cap, wiped his brow, then ran his hand over the spiked salt and pepper hair. This was not good.

Teal'c walked forward and slowly surveyed the scene. "O'Neill, I believe that I can create an opening with my weapon."

Jack looked at Sam, who did her own recon and finally said, "It's possible, Sir. And still maintain the integrity of the cave."

Jack moved to the entrance and cupped his mouth. "MARSDEN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Nothing.

"They might have—been caught just inside, Jack," Daniel offered, his voice low.

"I know. It could also be that they're too far in to hear—"

Everyone stood staring, all too aware of the risks. Finally—

"Do it, Teal'c."

Everyone stepped back and to the side as Teal'c took his place in front of the blocked cave. He took aim and fired.

Mud flew, as did rocks, stones and other debris. When the dust cleared—the entrance to the cave was visible. Teal'c and Jack started forward as Jack said, "The rest of you stay here."

"Yadda, yadda," Daniel muttered.

Jack and Teal'c didn't get far. Something moved, then a voice boomed out, "O'Neill, is that you?"

"Ray?"

Three disheveled men, all caked in dry mud, stumbled out, hands up to shield their eyes.

"What took you guys so long? Christ, Jack, I expected you yesterday."

Grinning as he clapped Ray Marsden on the back, Jack said, "Well you know how it is, Ray. My team thinks they'll melt in a little rain—"

~~~~

Marsden, Rodriquez and Abrahms were uninjured but they were hungry and thirsty, having lost their supplies in the rush to safety. Perched on a rock, Jack's water bottle in his hand, Ray Marsden surveyed the area around the cave.

"Man, Jack, it was close. I have never seen anything like that flood and I'm from the hill country in Texas. Flash floods are like—nothing, to me. But this," he waved his hand at the dislodged mud and debris, "this was —cataclysmic."

"I'm getting the picture, Ray. Thank God that runoff existed—"

Ray wiped his mouth after swallowing more water and shook his head. "No runoff, Jack. That gully you're looking at wasn't there before the flood. That ground was perfectly flat."

Jack's mouth dropped open as he stared at the gully they'd followed to the cave. "Shit," he finally said.

 

"Exactly," Ray added. "We were damn lucky."

Daniel came alongside the two men and asked, "What stopped the mud from invading the cave?"

"Best we can figure, two huge tree trunks. We'd just run in, the mud making this horrific sound behind us, then we heard this loud cracking noise, looked back, and everything seemed to slow down and finally stop. The trees acted like a stopper of sorts."

"And Teal'c's staff weapon took them out," Daniel mused.

"Thank God."

Jack nodded as he glanced back at the cave opening. Then he patted Ray's knee and said, "You ready to head back? Up to the hike?"

For an answer, Ray stood, made eye contact with his two men, both of whom were eagerly stuffing their mouths with bread and cheese thoughtfully brought along by Siltar. Both men nodded, swallowed, then stood.

"We're ready, Jack."

As everyone started to move out, Daniel held back, eyes fastened on the small hill that supposedly led to the temple. Jack spotted him, followed his gaze, then grabbed his jacket and yanked him away.

"Nuh-uh, Daniel. You can go exploring later, when things around here calm down. For now, we head back."

"Aw, Jack, come on—"

"No. You heard Siltar, another flash flood is possible, even probable. We need to get back on the other side—pronto."

"I could cross right now, Jack. Then—"

"Daniel, we really need to work on the concept of no. You see, no means—no. It doesn't mean you can wheedle, it doesn't mean maybe, it doesn't mean you can pout and I'll change my mind. What it does mean—is—no."

"I don't pout and I don't wheedle."

"Right. And the Pope ain't Catholic. Get your butt in gear and forget about the temple for now. Move."

Daniel moved, albeit reluctantly. As he caught up with Rodriquez, Jack distinctly heard Rodriquez say, "Yeah, they're all like that, Danny. Whadya gonna do? They're military." Jack caught Daniel's laugh, then seeing Ray's grin, the two men high-fived each other.

"We be bad, Jack."

"So bad, Ray."

Laughing, the group headed back to the communal shelter.

On the other side of the gully, two small children scampered after them.

~~~~

"Teal'c, call me weird—"

"You are weird, O'Neill."

Jack's eyes narrowed. He could swear that Teal'c was developing a sick sense of humor. He shook his head. "Teal'c, I think we're being followed."

"Then you are not weird, O'Neill. I too have felt a — presence."

"Have you spotted anything at all?"

Teal'c, eyes roaming the surrounding area, shook his head.

Jack stopped and since he and Teal'c were in the lead, everyone else stopped. Sam came up to the two men and took off her glasses. "Sir?"

"We believe that we are being followed, Major. Or we are both weird," Teal'c offered.

At the surprised look from Sam, Jack said, "Don't ask, Carter. Don't ask."

"Right, sir."

Now three pairs of eyes searched, but came up with nothing.

Several yards behind them, Daniel, who'd fallen behind, was standing on a small outcrop of rock that jutted out over a damp, but waterless riverbed. As he stood waiting, he felt a slight rumbling underfoot. He cocked his head and frowned.

"Uh—guys?"

The rumbling increased. "Jack, don't you feel that?"

O'Neill glanced up and towards Daniel. "Feel what?"

"That—the rumbling. Can't you feel it?"

Ray came abreast of Jack, Teal'c and Sam. His eyes widened. "Fuck. This is—this is what we felt—"

At that moment, Daniel, who'd been looking both up and down the riverbed, gasped, then pointed. All eyes turned to follow his arm — Bondy and his sister Belseth were scrambling down the embankment in their attempt to get to the same side that Daniel and the others were on.

"Where the hell did they come from, Daniel?" Jack demanded in a loud voice.

"Like I know?"

"O'Neill, I do believe we have found those who would follow us."

"Ya think?"

At that moment, Siltar yelled and the rumbling underfoot increased to gigantic proportions. Everyone looked from the two children and up to a huge wall of mud and water rushing down the riverbed toward them and the two children.

"JESUS CHRIST," Jack yelled.

"RUN!" Siltar warned, even as he moved away from the riverbed.

Running was a fine idea, except that right in the middle of the flood, stood two frozen, panicked children. At the same moment that SG1 and SG7 realized they were too far away to reach the children, Daniel moved without thinking.

He jumped from the outcropping to land crouched down in the middle of the riverbed. He stood, looked behind him, gauged how much time he had, and shook his head. Not nearly enough, but he ran anyway.

As he ran toward the children, the others stood transfixed, unable to move, unable to breathe.

Bondy and Belseth saw Daniel running toward them and responded in kind. As they ran toward the archeologist, the rumbling and noise increased to the degree that Daniel couldn't even hear his heart beating or his breathing. When he reached the children, he didn't even pause; he scooped them up, one under each arm, then continued to run, eyes searching for a spot to climb out.

On the bank, the others watched in morbid fascination. There was nothing they could do. Nothing. They were completely helpless.

Jack held his breath and prayed. Then he promised himself that if Daniel made it out of this one—he'd kill him.

The mud and water rushed past SG1 and SG7, all safe, thanks to the banks of the natural riverbed. The water and mud had somewhere to go—unfortunately, Daniel and the children were in the way—

~~~~

Daniel ran hard, but his lungs felt as though they were about to burst—then he spotted it. A slight decline in the bank, ahead and to his right. He thought he heard screaming and was pretty sure that it was Belseth. He ducked his head and surged forward with a burst of speed he didn't know he had left. As he reached the bank, he did the only thing he could: he threw first Bondy, then Belseth up to the top of the embankment.

"RUN," he yelled, even as he scrambled for a toehold himself. He didn't dare look over his right shoulder; there was no way he wanted to see the brown rush that was about to engulf him. His foot found a tree root and he climbed.

Daniel had half his body on the flat part of the riverbank, the other dangling and in the path of the flood. Small fingers reached out and snagged his shirt and Bondy and Belseth began to pull. Legs kicking and scrambling for another brace, Daniel took a deep breath, used the last of his waning strength and with a gigantic effort, pulled himself out of the path of danger. As his legs cleared, he felt the whoosh and the power of the flood as it rushed past them. As a heavy muddy spray landed on all three, and the noise and debris increased, Daniel grabbed both children and tucked them safely under his own body. With arms covering heads, they waited it out.

~~~~

"Can you see anything?" Sam asked, panic tingeing her voice.

"A wall of mud and water, Carter." Jack's voice sounded — flat, even to himself. Daniel—wasn't gone. No way.

"DanielJackson is strong, O'Neill, he is strong."

"Damn straight, Teal'c." This time, his voice sounded—better.

The six of them stood, helpless—waiting for the water to recede enough so that they'd know if Daniel and the two children lived.

It took seven minutes for the wall of mud to decrease to a level that allowed them to see.

~~~~

The noise and rumbling was almost gone. Carefully, Daniel lifted his head. Nothing. He could hear the sound of rushing water, but it sounded—normal, now. He looked back down and gently tapped Bondy's head.

"Bondy? You okay?"

The dark curls shook, then the little boy turned his head and said, "Belsef?"

"She's right here, Bondy, right here." Daniel sat up, bringing both children with him. He set them in front of him and started wiping their faces with his fingers.

"You two look like the dreadful mud creatures. "

Belseth cocked her head. "mud—creatures?"

"Mmm, little creatures that roamed the earth and rubbed mud all over—" that was all he needed to say. Two "mud creatures" launched themselves at him and began rubbing. Daniel fell back, laughing, letting the children have this moment—they were, after all, alive.

Hitting the ground with the weight of the two children on him stopped the laughing almost immediately. Daniel felt burning sensations running along his back and up into his left shoulder. The burning intensified as Daniel let the children express their joy.

His radio crackled to life, "Daniel. Report."

Reaching for the microphone button sent an arc of pain down his arm and into his hand. Daniel gritted his teeth and moved to grab the unit.

"Dr. Jackson, report!"

Finally maneuvering the radio out of its mesh pocket, Daniel angled it to talk without causing himself further pain. "I'm here. The children are wet, but uninjured."

A sigh echoed from the unit, and then a command to "Stand by."

Daniel dropped his hand to the ground and looked up into the eyes of the children.

Belseth reached a tentative hand out to him and pushed wet bangs from his forehead. "You don't look so good. Are you okay?"

Knowing that he couldn't frighten the children, Daniel stamped down the pain as much as possible, plastered a small grin on his face and pushed himself into a sitting position. "I'm just fine. I'm wet and muddy, I don't think anyone looks their best when they've been pulled like a fish from the river, do you?"

He ended his comment by looping a finger in his mouth like a fishhook and pulling his head to the side. His grimace of pain was covered by the laughter of the children as they watched his antics. Relieved, they sat down closely on either side of him to wait for the voice to come back from the gray box.

~~~~

As the water calmed, Jack tried to see to the other shore. The waves and debris crested and kept obscuring the view from his binoculars. Finally the waves calmed to show a lump lying on the opposite bank.

Daniel.

Jack adjusted the view and tried to make out the details. Daniel lay on his back, arms to his sides with both children perched on his chest. The boy, Bondy was shaking quite hard and from the angle, Jack couldn't tell why. He was either laughing or crying. As Jack's heart once again plummeted to his feet, he hoped for the former. Keying his radio, Jack rasped. "Daniel." Trying to steady his voice and feeling the group's eyes on him. Jack added, "Report."

Peering through the glasses, Jack could see Daniel's hand move. Bondy shifted to allow him more freedom and Jack could see the bright smile radiating from the kid's face. A wave of relief washed through him as he watched Daniel's shaking hand's fumble for the radio.

As his radio crackled to life, Jack felt the weight of the planet lift from his shoulders. Sighing heavily, he instructed his stupidly heroic anthropologist to hold on.

Turn back to the group, Jack watched as the relief washed through both his team and Nagurans. Turning to the Siltar, Jack gave a wave of his hand. "Any chance for a crossing around here?"

Siltar looked around sadly and shook his head. "The waters always wash out quite a bit of the area. It will be four kornacs or so before we come to a rock outcropping close enough to attempt a crossing."

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, that was a long walk for the children with a possibly injured Daniel, but it couldn't be helped. "Okay, so Daniel and kids will parallel us along the riverbank until we get to a location where we can attempt bringing everyone across."

Pulling his binoculars back up, Jack opened the radio channel again. "Daniel, there's no place to cross around here. You're gonna have to take the kids downstream about 6.5 clicks before we can consider a location safe enough to try bringing you over."

Jack watched Daniel's shoulders slump and then straighten. He was just about to ask the reason when the radio broadcast back. "Sure. We'll start off now. The kids are a little shaken, but we should be able to make decent time."

"Stay well back from the banks. The footing doesn't look that stable and I don't want one of you falling in. You hear?" Jack waited for a reaction to appear through the binoculars. "Colonel Dad talk" always rated him some sort of sarcastic comeback and lightened the situation. Instead, he saw Daniel grip his left shoulder with his right hand and take a deep breath. His face was pale and Jack could see slight shivers racing through Daniel's body.

Turning, Jack looked at Carter and Teal'c. "Carter, I want you Marsden and Rodriquez to go back to the village and get blankets, something to carry the kids if they've got it and more medical supplies. Meet us downstream."

Jack looked over at Marsden. "You got an idea of the layout?"

Marsden looked to Siltar asking, "At the rock bridge?"

Siltar nodded, "It would give us the best place to cross."

Marsden agreed and turned to Rodriquez and Carter. "I'm ready."

Carter nodded and headed toward the village with the men.

O'Neill turned and motioned. "Teal'c you take point. We'll shadow Daniel and the kids as closely as possible, so keep on eye on your speed."

The Jaffa bowed his head in acknowledgment and moved forward, the group fanning out behind him. They walked in silence for quite some time until Jack's radio crackled to life.

"I think the kids need to stop a moment," Daniel's voice echoed from the speaker.

Jack looked over to see Daniel helping the two children to sit on a downed log. They were well back from the steep drop off into the fast moving waters. Daniel was briskly rubbing Bondy's arms in what looked like an effort to warm him up. Jack could see that Daniel's right arm did most of the work, as he favored his left. Daniel's expression was kept carefully neutral, in an attempt Jack realized, to keep his injuries from the children.

Calling a halt to his group, Jack watched as the team pulled out canteens for a much needed water break. Crap. This group was warm, dry and supplied, while Daniel and the children were sitting less than one hundred feet away — wet, cold and thirsty. He needed to do something.

"Lieutenant?" Jack looked over at Abrhams, "We need to rig some sort of projectile to shoot a pack over the river. They need water and supplies. What do you have left in that bag?"

Teal'c moved over toward O'Neill. "A projectile will not be necessary." His gazed moved to the raging waters and then back. "If we send a rope over, DanielJackson can tie it off, we should then be able to transport supplies over the line. If you give me your rope, I shall attempt an accurate throw by weighting the line with this flashlight."

Jack pulled out a length of heavy cord and handed it to Teal'c. He radioed their plans over to Daniel, and cringed as Daniel gave a tired wave back in acknowledgment. Jack sighed, this rescue was taking five times as long as finding SG7, but with moving parallel to the river and traversing flood refuse, it couldn't be helped. Watching over his charges through the binoculars, Jack saw Daniel gesture for the children to stay put and then move a bit further downstream to give Teal'c a clear area for which to aim.

The Jaffa backed up a couple of paces and then took several quick steps in succession. Looking much like a shot-put throw, he heaved the flashlight and rope over the choppy waters. A light "thunk" echoed back as the flashlight bounced on the ground several paces in front of Daniel. Teal'c moved to tie his side of the towrope off on a nearby tree.

Jack watched as Daniel moved to pick up the flashlight, swayed a bit and grabbed at his shoulder. Dialing up the power on the lens, Jack tried to get a better look at Daniel. His jacket was wet and ripped, but more detail was impossible as he was already moving to take the line to a low tree for tie off.

Keying the radio, Jack waited for Daniel to tug on the line and confirm that their rope was secure. Completed, Jack opened the channel again. "How bad is it?"

Watching through the binoculars, Jack almost felt Daniel's start at the question. He watched as Daniel weighted his answer and then finally shrugged. "It's not great. The kids are fine, and it shouldn't be a problem during the walk. Heavy lifting at the end of this could be a problem."

Jack closed his eyes for a moment in consternation. The only reason Daniel gave that much information was so that Jack's rescue plan for the kids wouldn't be compromised. It also meant that Daniel was in a considerable amount of pain if he were concerned enough to mention the limitation. Jack knelt down and rifled through his supply pack for the first aid kit.

Pulling two bottles of water, a heavy blanket, some trail bars and the first aid kit into a pile, Jack efficiently packaged the items into a bag for transport over the rope. He climbed uphill to where Teal'c had tied off their end and handed the bundle up to the Jaffa.

Teal'c quickly looped the ends of the pack over the rope and gave it a mighty shove. His propulsion, coupled with the angle of the rope, allowed the items to quickly sail to Daniel's location.

Pulling up the glasses once again, Jack watched as Daniel retrieved the supplies from the bundle and spread them out. He handed a bottle of water and a trail bar to each child and then proceeded to wrap them up in the heavy blankets.

Pulling the radio up, Jack focused the binoculars on Daniel's face. "There's plenty of water and food there Daniel. You'll need it as much as the kids. There's some medicine in there that you should take as well. Wash it down with some more water."

Jack was rewarded with a small eye roll from Daniel, as he knew he was being watched. Bondy handed over a water bottle and Daniel pulled open the First Aid kit for painkillers.

A small rest, a bit of warmth and the two groups were off again. Two more stops were needed, each time allowing for water and rest, before they finally made it to the meeting point.

Carter, Marsden, Rodriquez had been joined by Metan. A couple of the villagers were camped in a cove set back into a hill, safe from the raging waters. The group had a small area set up with a roaring fire, hot water and medical supplies.

The noise of the water continued to grow as Jack and the team approached. Surveying his rendezvous point, Jack groaned. The two banks of the makeshift river did come closer here than upstream, the water funneling into a chasm thirty feet or so wide. The remains of what had once been a bridge lay broken against the steep wall, the violence of the flood all too apparent.

They were going to have to do this the hard way. So what else was new? Assessing, he took in the area. The banks of the river were rock, so they didn't have to worry about land giving way under their feet. The rock walls were steep, there was a drop of twenty-five feet down to the water. It washed through the area creating makeshift rapids, huge boulders spiking from the water and breaking up the current.

While much closer to the other side than they had been during the flood, the layout created a whole other set of problems. By narrowing the channel, the waters were focused into a smaller tunnel, making the current swift and choppy. The boulders would allow some purchase, but were slippery from the rushing current and the occasional debris that washed over them. A misstep would easily wash people downstream or at least beat them against the rocks during a rescue.

Once again in his "adventurous career amongst the stars" Jack wished for a transporter and a hearty Scottish engineer. But since that was as likely as getting to play center in the Stanley Cup finals, they had to do it the old fashioned way: work, crappy odds and a little luck.

Cursing, he turned toward Carter and Teal'c, both of whom stood quietly waiting while he planned. "Looks like we're going to have to do this in phases. We'll rig a chair on a double rope line and bring the kids and Daniel over one at a time." Jack turned back toward Metan. "I don't suppose it gets any better further downstream?"

Metan shook his head sadly. "The river widens and then empties into a larger body of water. It is many days journey around the perimeter."

"Swell, just swell." Jack reached back to shuck his pack and began calling out orders. Carter constructed the chair as Teal'c rigged the pulley system.

Grabbing his radio, Jack opened a channel to Daniel. "How ya doing, Dannyboy?"

Watching the shrug from across the river gave him a bit of relief. Jack explained the plan to Daniel while watching his team finish construction.

"So any questions?"

The radio stayed silent for moment, finally releasing Daniel's weary voice. "No. I've got it. Jack —"

"Don't worry, Danny. I know about your shoulder. We'll do most of the work on this side. If you can get them in the chair, we should be able manage the rest."

Daniel's sigh emitted from the radio. "Okay, I'll get ready."

Teal'c finished off the double line pulley system, and again showed his prowess in throwing as he sent the ropes sailing over toward Daniel. Jack watched through the binoculars as Daniel looped and tacked the system's ends around a sturdy tree. Daniel was favoring his shoulder more and more. Jack watched as he wielded the hammer with his right hand. Rips in the jacket didn't give enough space to allow for a view of the damage and Jack would be damn glad when they were all together on one side of the river.

Carter's newly created chair was hoisted onto the lines and sent across the river. It swayed merrily in the breeze and Jack watched as Daniel eyed it with some trepidation.

"Just a few more minutes, Daniel. Then we'll have you with us and the kids reunited with their dad," Jack mumbled under his breath as he watched Daniel lean down to explain the conveyance to the children.

~~~~

Daniel warily watched as the chair made its way toward him. He hated heights. And swinging over rapids? He cut off his thoughts before they could get worse. Clearing him mind, he knelt down beside the children and hugged them close. "You both know that I'm an explorer, right?"

The children nodded back to him with great sincerity.

"Well, exploring can be a dangerous job. And one of the reasons I get to keep on doing it is that Jack, Sam and Teal'c make sure I stay safe."

He watched as both children eyed the chair as it swung into the tree. Pulling their attention back to himself, he continued. "I know it looks scary. But we've used this before. Now I'm going to put Bondy on the chair. See there's a safety—"

He got no further as Bondy cut him off. "No, Belsef first!"

Daniel sat back on his haunches and looked at the boy. "You want Belseth to go first?" Daniel wiggled his nose in surprise at the request and then rubbed at his eyes. Concern replaced confusion as he asked why.

Bondy shifted and hugged his sister. "Cause I'm the brother. 'N it should make it to t'other side. If the water comes back, she should be with Da. She has ta be safe afor I go."

Bondy hugged his sister closer and studied Daniel with a defiant eye.

The fierce loyalty of the boy tore at Daniel's heart. He really thought they'd let him wash down stream? Sighing Daniel tried again. "Bondy, Belseth can go first. But the chair is strong enough for Teal'c to use. You'll both be fine."

A small pink tongue stuck out of the toothless space as Bondy considered this. "Belsef still go first."

Daniel smiled gently and nodded. The two walked over to the chair and Daniel leaned down to help the girl up and in. Shoulder burning in pain, Daniel settled Belseth into the chair and latched the hook and safety harness around her. Stalling to regain his breath, Daniel checked the lines before gently squeezing the girl's shoulder. "Just sit tight. We'll do all the work. The chair will rock a bit, but you won't fall out. Try not to look down and you'll be with your father in a bit."

Pale, Belseth tried to look calm as she stared at Daniel. "You'll take care of Bondy?"

Daniel ruffled her hair and nodded. "Yup, until you get him back on the other side."

He gave the safety harness one last tug and pulled up his radio. "Ready when you are Jack."

"Clear the chair from the low branches, Daniel, and then let us take it from there."

Daniel slowly pulled the chair along the rope until there was no danger of it swaying into loose limbs and then watched as Belseth swung out over the water.

The chair sank a bit on the rope and tossed in the strong winds. Water from the rapids crashed up and washed over Belseth's legs as a strong wave came through. In a short time, she was being pulled over the cliff on the opposite side and her father was removing her from the chair.

Daniel watched the happy reunion as father and daughter hugged. Although happy for the reunion, he couldn't help feel a bit heavy in heart as he watched. An uncanny sense told him he was being watched and he looked over to find Jack studying him through the glasses. Carefully making his face neutral, he smiled toward Jack and then turned back towards Bondy.

"Ready?" He smiled as he knelt to pick him up.

"No."

Blinking, Daniel peered at her. "Bondy, it really is safe. Belseth got over just fine. You'll be okay."

"No."

Daniel studied him for a moment. "Why not?"

Bondy's large eyes studied the water and then turned back to Daniel. "You take me."

Daniel drew an arm around the boy. He could see the child struggling to hold back tears and well understood the fear of the motion and the height over the rapids. "You will not fall out. I promise. You'll be tied in tight. You'll be fine."

"No." He backed away and sat at the base of a tree, his arm around a small sapling.

"Daniel?" Jack's voice echoed from the radio.

"Daniel, taxi's waiting. Load 'em up."

Daniel rolled his eyes at the radio. "Hold on a second, Jack."

"Bondy," Daniel walked toward where Bondy was grasping the sapling for dear life. Tears were beginning to roll down his cheek.

"It really will be fine. I promise. Close your eyes and it will all be over in a flash. You won't even have to see."

He started to shake. "I can't swim! I'll fawl out the side. No!"

He looked ready to bolt and Daniel scooped him up in his arms. Bondy struggled briefly against his embrace and then grabbed around his neck. A strong wave of emotion swept through Daniel. Rubbing up and down Bondy's back, Daniel tried to calm his own thoughts. The feel of the small arms locked around his neck made him ache. He could almost feel the Harcesis lying in his arms. No! He cut those thoughts off and refocused on Bondy.

The boy's weight was pulling on Daniel's shoulder and it was screaming for him to put Bondy back on the ground. Tamping the notion down, he shifted him to his other arm and pulled down the radio. "Jack, we have a small problem. Bondy doesn't want to cross alone. And I don't want him struggling in the chair the whole way across."

Daniel turned to face Jack across the river. He could see Jack talking to Teal'c and Metan.

The radio sprang back to life. "Okay, Daniel. There should be no problem with the two of you in the chair. Strap yourself in and then reloop the safety line around Bondy. Okay?"

Still stroking the child's back, Daniel set him on the ground. "I'm going to get in the chair and belted in, then I'll get you okay?" Watery eyes and a slight nod were his answer.

Settling back into the chair, Daniel could feel the bruises across his back burn with complaint. He shifted for a more comfortable position and finding none, secured the harness. He reached down, and ignoring his shoulder's complaint, pulled Bondy to straddle his lap. The boy's hands went around his neck as Daniel looped the safety line under Bondy's arms and latched it.

Whispering words of reassurance into Bondy's ear, he waived a hand at Jack, and the chair started to swing out. Several branches slashed across his neck and head as the chair jostled along the line, then they were over the water and swinging free.

The roar of water caused Bondy to cling tighter to Daniel, his small hands fisting in the bruises in his back. Daniel, for his part, was glad he hadn't had much more than painkillers and water. The height of the chair over the water was making his stomach fall. He could see the water tumbling below and felt the roar of the wind as it made the chair swing back and forth. Belseth's ride had seemed much smoother. The hitch and jerk of the chair added to the nausea caused by his headache. Cataloging his aches and pains, Daniel struggled to keep his mind off the rapids two stories below. Daniel closed his eyes as the chair came to a halt midway over the rapids.

Daniel thought back to a time in his childhood. It was the third — no fourth — family. Alan, one of his foster brothers, had put him on the double Ferris wheel at a city fair. Then the "loving" brother had slipped the operator five dollars to stop them at the top. Alan had sat and rocked the carriage hoping to make Daniel scream. Daniel, who had gotten good at keeping everything locked inside, had steadfastly refused to make a noise. He could hear Alan taunting him in his head, "Scream, little baby, if you plead nice, I'll let us get down." Daniel never screamed, Alan got even more frustrated that another of his 'great plans' had been spoilt and Daniel had been in for a severe beating when Alan took him home. Coming back to the present, Daniel could almost feel the bruising on his lips where he had bitten them together to keep from giving Alan any satisfaction.

Wondering at the delay, Daniel was interrupted by Jack's calming voice as it came out of the radio. "Daniel, hold on. The rope is wet and the pulley is sticking. Teal'c and Carter are making an adjustment so this will be smoother. It will be just a second."

Shifting his arm to continue to cradle Bondy while he offered words of assurance as water sprayed onto them. Daniel struggled to breathe and focused on keeping Bondy safe as he tried to avoid contemplating the current raging below.

"Danny, I know this isn't your idea of a good time, the chair will start moving in a moment. Just hang on." Jack's voice continued to emanate from the radio as pulley began to work again.

This time, the water was overshadowed by Jack's words as he continued to offer encouragement. The din of the radio was replaced by reality as Jack's voice moved from speaker to live. Finally, Daniel felt a warm grip on his arm and opened his eyes to find Jack kneeling in front of him.

Jack's hand gripped his forearm with warm encouragement and he smiled back into the lively brown eyes.

"Bondy!"

Jack shifted to the side, but did not let go. Metan reached for his son as Daniel fumbled with the safety latch on the line. Jack pushed his hands aside and flicked open the catch allowing Daniel to offer up the child to his father. His arms felt strangely empty and he remembered the sense of loss as he'd handed over the Harcesis to Oma DeSala.

Jack's hand was then on his, a strange look of sympathy and comfort in his eyes. Embarrassed, Daniel dropped his eyes and focused on trying to extricate himself from the chair.

"Here, let me get that." Jack's voice was warm and held a note of gentleness that Daniel had not heard in a long time. He watched as Jack's capable hands freed him from the safety harness and then extended to help him from the chair.

Daniel started as Jack slid an arm around his waist to help him stand. "Lean into me, and let's get you to the fire."

Daniel struggled to stand, realizing his legs were shaking as the adrenaline of the afternoon finally wore off. He gazed up under his bangs to find Jack's regard firmly on him. Concern warred with something else in the look, but pain and exhaustion finally took their toll as Daniel had to set aside the question of what "something else" was to focus on his ability to remain standing.

~~~~

Someone pressed something metallic but warm into his hands and Daniel looked up gratefully.

"Coffee. I am now a happy man."

Jack grinned downed at him. "Drink it up, then let Sam look you over."

"I'm fine, Jack."

"Huh-uh. Sure. You betcha. And just to show you that I believe you — Sam is going to check you over when you finish that coffee."

"I hate you."

"Good, good." Smiling, Jack sat down on the log next to Daniel, put his hand under Daniel's and pushed. "Drink up, Danny boy. Drink up."

On another log, across the blazing fire, Metan sat with his children in his lap, content to hold them and keep them warm. The scolding would come later — much later. As Bondy's eyes drifted shut and Belseth rested her dark head against her father's chest, content to watch the warming blaze, Metan glanced over at the two men. Daniel caught his eye and smiled. Metan mouthed his "thank you." Daniel

shrugged, then grimaced.

Observing the interaction between the two men and seeing Daniel's discomfort, Jack said triumphantly, "Ah ha. See? You are hurt."

"Jack, go mother hen someone else."

At that moment, Teal'c, who'd been taking down the swing used to bring Daniel and the children over, joined the two. "Mother hen? I have heard you speak of Doctor Frasier with those words—"

"And worse," Jack added.

Teal'c went on as if Jack hadn't spoken, "But I have never heard them used in conjunction with O'Neill. He is neither a mother, nor is he a bird."

Smug smile in place, Jack said, "Thank you, Teal'c—"

"Janet isn't a bird either, Teal'c," Sam said as she sat down on the other side of Daniel, first aid kit in hand.

"No, she is not, but you have explained the reference to 'hen' and there have been times when she resembled that which you once showed to me, Major Carter."

Daniel couldn't help it, he laughed. It felt good. And bad. But mostly — good. He pushed his glasses back up, then said as he calmed down, "Sometimes I think

Jack does resemble a hen. Just let Sam spot some alien object that could be a weapon, or—"

"Or," Sam interrupted with a chuckle, "let you spot some old building with writing on it and—"

"And you both go running off, helter skelter and I'm stuck with the job of herding you both back—"

"You are right, DanielJackson, O'Neill does resemble a hen. A mother hen."

Jack narrowed his eyes, then said, "Somebody tell me how the alien with the baby snake in his belly always manages to get the last word?"

"Actually, Colonel O'Neill, he—" Sam started to say.

"I rarely get this last word, O'Neill," Teal'c interrupted. "I believe that—"

"I always get the last word," Daniel finished.

~~~~

"Ouch."

"Sorry, Daniel. I'll try to be more careful—"

"The ouch was for Jack, who is trying not to watch. Just thought I'd give him a thrill."

"So is he? Thrilled, I mean?"

"Can't tell. He's taken a sudden interest in his boot. And — ouch?"

"Daniel, you said he's not watching."

"That one was for real. Ouch and ouch again."

Sam winced in sympathy as she finally got Daniel's shirt up enough to see. "Daniel, you're badly bruised and the area around your shoulder is swollen, the skin warm to the touch."

"Okay, that's not so surprising, is it?"

"I guess given your gymnastics with the children, no, it's not. There isn't much I can do, Daniel, other than use this analgesic cream, give you a couple of pain pills from the kit and put your left arm in a sling."

"Hey, don't worry, that'll get me back."

Sam nodded, then carefully started to apply the cream, hesitating each time she felt the muscles beneath her fingers tense up. When she was finished, she pulled his black tee down, fixed him up in the sling the kit provided, then shook two pills out onto her palm.

"Okay, here you go, Daniel."

Daniel held out his hand, took the pills and knocked them back with a swig of water from his canteen. After swallowing, he said, "Thanks, Sam." Then seeing her face and the worry radiating from her eyes, he smiled somewhat wanly and said, "I'm fine, don't worry."

She gave him a soft pat on his good shoulder, then got up and walked over to Jack. "He's going to be fine, Sir, but we may want to take it slow heading back."

Looking up at his 2IC, Jack said, "Figured as much. I'm going to send Marsden and his people back with Metan and the children. We'll give Daniel a rest, then follow at a slower pace."

"Sounds like a plan, sir."

~~~~

"Jack, we could have headed out with the others."

"No, we couldn't, Daniel. Metan was anxious to get his children home, and Marsden was equally eager for he and his men. I suspect with Bondy and Belseth riding on shoulders, they'll make good time. You wouldn't have been able to keep up."

"Gee, don't hold back your thoughts on my account."

Jack dropped his sunglasses down on his nose and peered at Daniel over the rims. "Am I wrong, Daniel?"

"Are you ever?"

"Actually—no. That's why I'm a colonel."

"Huh-uh," Daniel muttered skeptically.

Jack grinned, then reached down for Daniel's pack. Daniel had the same idea and for a moment, their hands touched and their eyes met. Jack looked away first and

said gruffly, "I'll carry it, Daniel."

"I can—"

"I'll — carry — it."

Giving up and straightening, Daniel said, "Right."

Jack lifted Daniel's pack, slapped his cap on his head and said, "Okay, kiddies, let's head out nice and slow."

~~~~

The trip back was made in almost virtual silence. Jack took the lead, Sam walked with Daniel and keeping an unobtrusive eye on him. Teal'c brought up the rear.

For Daniel, even with the pain pills, each step served to remind him of every single bruise he'd managed to collect, and his shoulder was screaming bloody murder. He'd have killed for a hot bath.

The closer they got to the shelter, the more Daniel found himself seeing Bondy's dark eyes as he'd said good-bye and Daniel thought that maybe — his own son

— might have looked like — Bondy. Sha're's eyes, that quick smile, the soft hair that Daniel could brush away from the boy's forehead.

For a moment, he could again feel the Harcesis baby in his arms—could see that grin, hear the gurgles–he bit down on his lower lip, then—

"Awgod—"

Sam, hearing the whispered words, stopped and said, "Daniel? Are you all right?"

Sam's concerned face appeared before him and he blinked, then nodded. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking–I mean, watching—where I was going. Sorry."

Jack turned as he walked, so that he was effectively walking backwards and asked, "Daniel? You okay?"

Daniel rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Jack."

"So sue me for asking."

"You think I could get the big bucks?"

Jack huffed and turned back around, but both Daniel and Sam could hear his mutterings.

"See if I ever ask him again if he's all right. And believe me, there will be plenty of times where someone will have to ask him. But it won't be me, no way. And who gave him permission to risk his life again, huh? Who? Not me, I can tell you that. I swear, he's — he's so — Daniel."

Sam had to bite back her laughter and Daniel, after deciding that he'd find a way to pay Jack back for the remarks, smiled.

~~~~

By the time they'd made it back to the communal shelter, the majority of Nagurans had left for their homes. Only Metan, along with a handful of others, had remained in order to administer to the needs of the rescued members of SG-7.

When SG-1 walked in, Bondy unattached himself from his father and ran toward Daniel, immediately wrapping his arms around the archeologist's legs. Lifting his shining face to the man, he said, "You be back! Play wif me now?"

As Daniel gazed down at the boy, he felt his heart skip a beat or two. He wanted to pick up the boy more than anything, but knew his body wouldn't allow it. Just as he reached out to ruffle Bondy's hair, Jack scooped Bondy into his arms and moved close to Daniel.

"Hey, junior, I'm thinking play will have to wait. Danny boy here has a sore arm, but maybe if you give him a big wet kiss, you can make him feel better?"

Bondy's expressions went from worried to joyful as he held out his arms. "Yeth! Yeth! Kith!"

Chuckling, Jack leaned in, thus allowing Bondy to reach Daniel. The boy, while still in Jack's arms, wrapped his arms around Daniel's neck and planted a whopper on his cheek. Laughing, Daniel kissed the tip of Bondy's nose.

"Fweel bedder now, Dan-yel?"

"One hundred percent better, Bondy."

~~~~

Teal'c heard the high giggles of Bondy and turned to watch. He tilted his head and regarded the sight a few feet away.

Colonel O'Neill, the giggling child in his arms, was standing close enough to DanielJackson that their bodies were touching. Their heads were bent and DanielJackson's dark blonde hair brushed against the salt and pepper of Colonel O'Neill.

One eyebrow rose.

Sam, noticing the look on Teal'c's face said, "Teal'c?"

"Major Carter?"

"What are you finding so fascinating?"

Teal'c paused, then with an enigmatic smile, said, "Nothing, Major."

~~~~

After a lengthy talk with General Hammond, it was decided that SG-7 had recovered enough from their ordeal to remain on the planet and finish the work they'd started before the storms. Rodriquez was ecstatic, Daniel envious. He would have loved remaining behind to lose himself in the temple, not to mention the chance to spend more time with Bondy.

Their good-byes were surprisingly difficult considering that SG-1 had only been on the planet 48 hours. Bondy, though bravely silent, managed to convey through huge, luminous eyes, his dislike at the fact that Daniel was about to go through the "magik circle," instead of playing with him.

Metan, Bondy in his arms, accompanied SG-1 to the gate and as Major Carter dialed home, Daniel said his good-bye to the boy.

"You be good and take care of your sister, okay?"

Bondy, an unhappy finger on his bottom lip, nodded. "I will, but you should stay wif me."

Daniel pushed a shock of dark hair from Bondy's brow, then said, "I probably should, Bondy, and I know I'd rather do that than almost anything, but my boss says I've got to go home."

"Is your boss like my Da?"

Grinning, Daniel nodded. "Yes, Bondy, he is."

Lower lip trembling, Bondy said dejectedly, "Then you have to go."

"'Fraid so, Bondy. But maybe, someday, I'll be able to come back."

The boy nodded and Daniel ruffled his hair, then dropped another kiss on his nose. Bondy giggled, then watched wide-eyed as the gate opened. The whoosh of the controlled, shimmering fluid fascinated the boy, but he quickly realized that Daniel was going to go through it. He reached out one more time, small fingers grasping and latching onto Daniel's jacket.

Seeing the look on Metan's face, Daniel said, "Bondy, want to know a secret?"

The boy's eyes popped wide as he nodded. Daniel leaned in and in an exaggerated stage whisper, said, "Your father looks as though he wants to play ball. Think

you could play with him?"

Bondy's head swiveled around as he said, "Da? you play ball wif me?"

Gratitude shining from his eyes, Metan said, "I would like very much to play ball with you. Let's wave good-bye to our new friends, then you and I shall play, all right?"

He nodded and started to bounce in his father's arms.

"Daniel? You ready?" Jack asked.

"I'm ready." He smiled at Metan and Bondy, then walked slowly and stiffly to where his team stood, ready to go through.

Jack slapped Ray Marsden on the back as he said, "Watch Rodriquez, don't lose him."

"Hey, I'm lucky. Rodriquez is afraid of me. Too bad you can't say the same thing about your archeologist."

"Hey, the man is Jello around me," Jack argued. "I bark, he—"

"Barks back, Jack?" Daniel said innocently.

Marsden laughed and stepping back, said, "Jack, I do believe you're the only SG leader afraid of his archeologist."

"Am not," Jack said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Are too," Daniel said as he waved at Bondy and stepped through the gate.

"Am not," Jack muttered as he followed his team through.

Jack was pretty sure he could still hear Marsden's laughter as he stepped onto the ramp back at the SGC.

~~~~

"It looks as though you've injured your left rotator cuff. We're also probably dealing with some damaged ligaments as well. I'm sending you home with both hot and cold packs, an anti-inflammatory and something for the pain. I'm going to want to see you in a couple of days, then we'll decide if anything else needs to be done."

"Thanks, Janet."

"Sit here for a few, I need to get you a sling." She started to walk away, then stopped and returned. "You know, I'm betting that you could use some time in our therapy pool?"

Daniel's eyes closed as he smiled dreamily. "I'd give anything for thirty minutes in the whirlpool, Janet."

"Good. And lucky you. All I'm asking is that you do exactly what I say, when I say it."

Daniel opened his eyes and tilted his head. "When do I ever not do as you say? You must have me mixed up with Jack."

Janet patted his knee and said, "Oh, yeah, that must be it. And speaking of Colonel O'Neill, I'll let him in now."

"Hey, don't let him in on my account, Janet."

Smiling and shaking her head, Janet disappeared around the corner.

Daniel swung his legs aimlessly, already dreading going home and being alone with his thoughts.

"So. Doc says you're fine."

Daniel looked up to see Jack, hands stuffed in his pockets, standing a few feet away. "Yep. Sound familiar?"

Walking the rest of the way in, Jack said, "You're fine except for the rotator cuff. That could be tricky. Been there, done that."

"The scar on your right shoulder?"

"Yep."

"I don't think surgery is in the stars for this. Rest, maybe some therapy and I'll be —"

"Fine?" Jack finished for him, with a smile.

"Well, yeah."

"You're gonna need some help at home, not to mention a ride."

Daniel sighed. He'd forgotten about driving home.

"Don't worry, I'll take you. We can get your car later. And I'll — stay, at least overnight, make sure you're —"

"Fine?"

"Well, yeah," Jack said, grinning.

"There's no need—"

"Actually, Doctor Jackson, there is. If the Colonel, or someone else, doesn't go with you, you're staying here for the next two days," Janet said as she walked back in, sling in hand.

Jack crossed his arms over his chest and looked superior.

"Conspiracy. I'm surrounded by conspiracies," Daniel moaned.

Janet started to put the sling on, then stopped and said, "No point in getting you rigged up in this thing since you're going into the whirlpool." She turned to Jack and added, "Maybe you'd help him, Colonel?"

Daniel put up his right hand in a stop gesture. "Whoa. Jack may have to drive me home and even — well, help out a little, but no way do I need his help to take—"

Grinning like the cat who'd swallowed the canary, Jack interrupted. "Why, Doc, I'd be happy to help our archeologist here." He patted Daniel's knee. "Come on, Danny boy, let's get you into that whirlpool."

Realizing that he was fighting a losing battle and taking precious time that could be spent in the whirlpool, Daniel conceded.

Janet pulled a robe from the supply closet and draped it over his shoulders. Pulling it closed around his sore arm, Daniel moved toward the whirlpool room, Jack trailing behind.

~~~~

The whooshing of the churning liquid covered the sounds of their footsteps. Daniel moved toward the pool and stood staring into the waters. He gave a start as Jack started to pull the robe from his shoulders.

"You need to be naked, Daniel, the pool works better that way."

Jack folded the robe and set it on a nearby chair. He turned to find Daniel fumbling one-handed with the belt and closure on his fatigue pants. Jack grabbed Daniel's hand, stilling it. Jack settled his free hand on the back of Daniel's neck and started a light massage. "Listen, this little trip to the flood site wasn't easy. We were on stand down for a reason."

Jack gave Daniel's neck harder rub. "The whole Kheb thing was a mess, too. And there is fallout from it. I know that. I saw it last night and I saw it with Bondy."

Jack continued to hold Daniel's hands and neck as he tried to pull back.

"No, please don't pull away from me. Daniel, I need to do this. Let me help here, I need to. Right now you need to calm down and let some of the bruises and muscles relax. You're always trying to get me to talk, right? Well, this time listen to me and don't shut me out."

Giving Daniel's neck a final squeeze, Jack dropped his hand and helped a stunned Daniel out of his fatigues. Taking Daniel's "good" arm, he assisted the man in settling into the tub. Unsure whether the groan he heard was one of pain or pleasure, Jack gave him a quick smile and took the rest of the clothes over to the chair. Folding everything neatly, he gave Daniel a moment to settle in on the tub seat.

Jack walked back over to the whirlpool and settled on the outside ledge behind Daniel. "Just relax and let your self go, Daniel." His soft words were accompanied by a gentle massage to Daniel's neck and shoulders. He could feel the muscles tense under his hands. "I'm not going to attack you Danny, just lean back and relax."

Jack reveled at the soft skin under his hands. He enjoyed touching Daniel, he always had. But this was—more. And he allowed himself to feel it. He could finally sense when Daniel let go and settled back into the water. Jack continued the massage down his left bicep and into his forearm.

Jack's mind wandered as he worked the muscles. Daniel's arms. Arms that had pushed him from the path of death on multiple missions; arms had held precious artifacts, treasured books; arms that cradled his wife in life and death; and offered support to Jack on multiple occasions. These were arms that Jack wanted to awaken in and greet each new day. Jack wanted the shelter of these arms just as much as he wanted to offer the shelter of his own.

Jack moved to work on Daniel's right arm and smiled as Daniel's tense posture finally melted into a loose sprawl. Finishing with the arm, Jack slipped his left arm around Daniel's chest and held him. Leaning his forehead into the back of Daniel's hair, Jack took a deep breath and allowed himself to inhale the essence that said "Daniel."

~~~~

Realizing that Jack wasn't going to grill him or yell, Daniel settled back to allow the hot water to work on his abused body. Jack's tender massage worked the knots out of his shoulder and down his arm. Daniel gave a small tremor as Jack touched his injured shoulder, but the light touch brought warmth without pushing into the rotator cuff. Skirting the most painful area, Jack's hands relaxed, massaged, eased and cherished. Daniel allowed his mind to focus on the contrast of Jack's hands. The fingers were callused from long years of holding weapons, and yet their touch was soothing. For such a dangerous soldier, Daniel never felt safer than when he was with Jack. His thoughts focused on the caring attentions and their giver, it took Daniel a moment to notice that the movements had stopped.

Jack had him cradled back against the pool wall and held in place against his chest. Daniel could feel the light weight of Jack's head as it leaned into his. The soft chuffs of breath warmed the back of his neck and sent shivers down his back. Exhausted, his mind struggled with the input. He shouldn't allow this. He should be pulling away — but why?

Shifting to face and talk to Jack, Daniel felt the arm tighten around him. He also noted that Jack's arm was shaking.

"Jack?" Daniel brought his hand up around the one on his chest and caressed it with concern.

A shuddering breath was taken from behind him.

"Please, Daniel, don't — just — just, give me a second."

Giving Jack's hand a squeeze, Daniel maintained his hold and lean back into the shaking body behind him. "Talk to me, Jack. I'm listening."

Daniel felt Jack move his free hand and then he was crushed against Jack in a firm embrace. He continued to soothe the arms griping him as he heard Jack strive for a deep breath and some calm.

Jack's ragged voice finally whispered in his ear. "Too close, Danny. Today was way too close."

Jack's warm breath caressed his neck, "I saw that wall of water and debris wash over you and I just — the whole world stopped."

Daniel stiffened at the words. He knew Jack had been worried, but "world stopping" was a bit strong. And yet, Daniel knew how he felt the day he watched a "retired" Jack walk through the 'Gate to finish out his days with Laira. Daniel's world had stopped then, too. But he hadn't thought that Jack would ever feel that way about him.

They sat in silence for a bit. Daniel coveting the embrace and the hot water churning on his abused body, Jack trying to regain emotional control.

Finally, Jack's head pulled away from his. "You're gonna be a prune, and I don't think that's what Doc Frasier had in mind. Let's get you out of here and home."

Jack pulled back and Daniel felt the chill of air. He also acknowledged to himself that he felt the chill of the loss of Jack's embrace. He took the hand that was offered and carefully stepped out of the whirlpool.

Diverting his eyes, he allowed Jack to help him into his briefs and fatigues. Pulling the robe across his shoulders, Jack escorted him back to the infirmary for Janet to bind his arm.

~~~~

Bandages finished and a loose jacket settled around him, Jack quickly bundled Daniel through the security checkpoints to his car. Settling him in, he latched the seat belt and closed the door.

Daniel hadn't made real eye contact since going into the whirlpool and Jack was adding worry onto concern. He wanted to get Daniel home and situated. He wanted to get Daniel talking. Patting the prescriptions in his pocket he moved around the truck and got in.

The drive was made in relative silence. Both men allowing the gentle melody of the Beethoven CD in Jack's truck to offer comfort. Parking in front of Daniel's apartment, Jack was out of the truck and pulling open the door before Daniel even acknowledged they'd stopped.

"Daniel? Home." Jack unsnapped the seat belt and assisted Daniel out of the truck. Daniel gave his offered arm a push and then relented when his legs wobbled a bit.

Jack guided him toward the front door and through the lobby. "Janet said those muscle relaxants would kick in pretty fast, you're not going to be too steady for a bit."

Daniel continued to study his shoes as they waited for the elevator to arrive. Jack shuffled the wavering man in and punched the button for Daniel's floor. He debated himself about trying to establish eye contact and then decided to wait until they were settled in the apartment.

~~~~

Returning the emergency key to its place on his ring, Jack kicked the front door shut. Holding Daniel with one hand, he slid the bolt home and then helped his less-than-stable archeologist over to the couch.

Settling Daniel comfortably, Jack covered him with a blanket and moved toward the kitchen. "I'll make some decaf coffee."

A slight groan echoed behind him. "Offsetting the muscle relaxants with caffeine isn't going to help. Trust me, I've been there. At least this will be warm and will taste real."

Jack pulled of his jacket, slung it over the kitchen chair and proceeded to make the coffee. He rooted around in the cabinets until he came across the bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream he knew Daniel kept. Adding a healthy dose to Daniel's mug, he returned to the living room.

Daniel had shifted to a sprawl on the couch. His posture may have screamed "hands off," but one didn't make colonel in the US Air Force by being intimated by body language. Jack set both cups on the table, picked up Daniel's feet and slid onto the couch. Only after he comfortably placed the sock-clad feet in his lap, did he reach to offer Daniel the coffee.

Studiously avoiding Jack's gaze, Daniel grabbed the mug and took a long drink. Sputtering, he finally looked up at Jack. "How much Bailey's did you put in this?"

Smiling back at him, Jack shrugged, "Enough to get you to look at me, so that's a start."

Daniel's eyes flashed and then returned to focus on his cup.

"Am I so bad to look at?" Jack posed over the rim of his mug.

Daniel's eyes flew back to Jack. "No! Of course not, I like look — that is, I mean, er, no."

Shaking his head, Jack focused strongly on Daniel. "I think there might be an actual half compliment in there somewhere." He grinned and winked.

Setting one hand on Daniel's leg, he gave a light squeeze. "Truth time here, Daniel. I like watching you. I like touching you. Today in the rehab room, I liked holding you in the whirlpool. But most of all, I liked being able to wake up next to you yesterday morning, even if I did end up with a backache for it."

Taking a deep breath Jack focused on his hand. Almost from outside himself he watched it caress up and down Daniel's leg. Actions were nice, but sometimes words were needed.

"I guess I was hoping you might like those things, too. Hell, you've seen me at my very worst, so torn up I only wanted to die. You've seen me work back to normalcy and you've even seen me in some pretty good times. I might not always have liked it, but we've shared a lot, and I've been a better man for it. But we've had a rough patch here. And I get the impression that you don't want to trust me with your worst."

Jack kept talking over the words of protest. "You looked like hell when you left the Mountain two days ago. Yet when I wanted to help, to talk, to listen, you shut me out. Why?"

Jack finally lifted his eyes to Daniel's. "Am I so hard to deal with? So implacable? So lacking in compassion? What? Why won't you let yourself lean on me, like you ask me to lean on you?"

Jack watched as the misery washed through Daniel's eyes. He saw confusion and doubt. Finally, he sensed resignation. Continuing to rub Daniel's leg in a comforting manner, he waited.

Daniel took one last drink, sat the coffee cup down on the table and leaned forward. "How do I talk to you about this?" Daniel stopped and pinched his nose, pushing his glasses up.

"I — I had a son, Jack. Not for very long and we lost him. But it wasn't like you and Charlie. I can't compare the grief of losing a child you loved for more than twelve years with one that — Shit." Daniel brushed at watery eyes.

Jack felt his chest constrict. There was no comparison in grief. Grief just was. And that Daniel thought that his own loss was less — or that in comparison to Jack's loss he couldn't seek help — was stifling. He needed to do something to show Daniel that his pain mattered to Jack.

Jack slowly lifted Daniel's legs from his lap and set them on the floor, so that he could quickly move down the couch. Cupping Daniel's cheek with his right hand, Jack tenderly thumbed the tears away.

"Tell me."

Shifting to sit against the back of the couch, Jack cradled Daniel against his chest, lightly caressing his back. He tried to avoid the bruises, but knew, right now, comfort outweighed the need for consideration.

"Tell me." He urged again, continued his rubbing and waited.

"She, we — That year on Abydos, Sha're carried my child, Jack. And during the pregnancy she — she lost it. I couldn't do anything to help her. We had this gift and then it was gone — just gone."

Daniel took in a shuddering breath and then clenched a fist into Jack's shirt. "We didn't know what went wrong. I wanted to wait, give her some time and then try again. She didn't want to wait. Several months later, well we thought 'maybe' and then she took ill. I almost lost her again."

Jack felt his eyes burn. To have been stranded so far away and so helpless — Daniel's pain was almost inconceivable. It was one thing to suffer those losses knowing that all medical options had be explored, but to know help was out there, yet unavailable —

Jack felt a shudder traverse him, reined in his emotions and focused back on Daniel.

Daniel's grip shifted to pound Jack's chest. "I was the great scholar. A scientist. Someone with great knowledge, the knowledge to incite an entire revolution. And I couldn't help Sha're. I couldn't keep our child alive. She thought it might be her, but I knew. I knew whatever the problem was, it was mine. I was responsible. I helped her heal as much as I could. I was strong for her, or I tried to be anyway. Tried to help her through it. And I locked everything else away."

"I just didn't deal with it. I couldn't. All that time passed and I returned to Kasuf and find her — healthy and carrying Apophis' child. He may be a false god, but he gave her what she most wanted. Something I couldn't. It hurt like Hell, but still, she needed me. So I locked that away, too."

Daniel was struggling to get the words out past a constriction in his throat. Jack could hear the struggle in his voice, but knew it all needed to come out. He gently leaned down and kissed the top of Daniel's head. "And on Kheb?"

"I held my son, Jack. The boy that should have been mine. Sha're's and mine, not that — that thing's. Not the child of the man who enslaved her. And once again, I wasn't enough. I had to give him up. Give him to someone else to raise and take care of. I held him once and holding him once — wasn't enough, either."

Jack's eyes burned as he continued to hold Daniel. Daniel, this amazing man who had opened the Stargate, help free an entire people, saved the Earth multiple times and was the best friend he could ever ask for — wasn't enough? For who?

The torrent of words wound down and Daniel struggled to regain his breath. The hand that had been pounding against Jack's chest now rested over his heart. "How — how could I tell you that, Jack? What I lost doesn't compare to what you've been through. For so long I felt something for you. I've wanted to be enough for you. Just me, alone. And now, I have to admit — that I'm not?"

Jack tried to clear his aching throat. Holding in the pain and the emotion, he felt everything burning to explode. There were so many things he wanted to say and they were all struggling for priority.

"Daniel," his voice was raspy. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"Daniel, listen to me." Jack shifted his hand down to cup Daniel's cheek and forced their eyes to meet.

"You are enough. You are enough for me to love, enough for Sha're to have loved and enough to gain respect and regard throughout the ranks of the people who know you."

Daniel started to protest and Jack cut him off with a curt "No," a wry grin and a quick kiss on the nose. Meeting Daniel's eyes he kept talking before Daniel could sidetrack him.

"Let's start at the beginning. You remember last year, when my Dad died? You were the only one I talked to. Everyone at the SGC thought we went fishing when I went back for the funeral. I was upset. Was I supposed to feel less pain because only my Dad died? The fact that my Mom was at the funeral, should have made it okay?"

Daniel raised a hand to Jack's shoulder. "No, of course not. I know how much your Dad meant to you."

Jack smiled gently at the brilliantly dense man in front of him. "But both your parents died. I only lost one. It was less than you've been through."

Daniel's eyes flashed at him. "So? But that's not what I, I mean—"

"So? Danny, listen to me, if there is one thing I do know, it's grief. I didn't handle mine particularly well with Charlie, but I handled it my way. Everyone feels the pain. You and Sha're lost a son. A son you loved and planned for. In grief, there is no more, no less. There is no right way to grieve. It just hurts."

"I don't pretend to know why your child didn't survive. I don't understand why you've had to survive so much pain. I can only thank God that you have survived, so that you are sitting here with me, right now."

"Daniel, you didn't fail Sha're. The child wasn't viable. We'll never know why. But I know it wasn't because of anything you did. I know you. You would have done everything to take care of her. You would have treated her like a princess, coddled and cared for her as much as she would allow. Your son's death was not your fault. And I know Sha're wouldn't blame you, either."

"But she must have, Jack. Otherwise, why send me on a wild goose chase after the Harcesis? To find her child and have to give him up?"

Jack sighed. He really believed what he was about to say, but what if Daniel didn't? Tightening his embrace for a moment, he plunged in. "To set you free."

Daniel's confused expression showed he was waiting for more.

"Stay with me here, Daniel. I got to be Special Forces because I understand strategy. And Sha're had a Hell of one, when she did what she did."

Daniel pulled back, "Jack she wasn't manipulative. She -"

Jack set his hands on Daniel's shoulders. "No. Not manipulative, she was smart, Danny. She loved you. And she needed you to be safe, too. Sha're knew that the boy was somewhere safe. She also had to have known that bringing him back to Earth would have made you a target. She saw what Ammonet was capable of, what any Gou'ald would have done for all that knowledge. She never would have wanted you to deal with that. But the woman loved you. She lived with you over a year on Abydos. And the second thing she would have learned about you is how tenacious you are. You don't give up. Not when it comes to people you love. Sha're would have known that better than anyone."

Jack leaned his forehead against Daniel's and stared into his eyes. "She wanted you to understand that going on was okay. The child was safe, you made sure you saw that for yourself. You were a witness. She made sure you forgave Teal'c when the time was necessary so that you'd have your friend and your colleague."

"Danny, she wanted you to have a life. No more searching for Sha're. No more searching for her son. No more looking for pieces of your heart scattered all over the galaxy. She set you free, Daniel. Free to choose a path. Free to be what you want, without the responsibilities of tracking down your family. The question now, is what do you choose? Will you choose to believe in her love? In her sense when it came to you? Will you choose to believe in me? And that I know an incredible strategist when I see one?"

Jack rubbed his hands up and down Daniel's arms. "What do you choose?"

~~~~

"Daniel?"

He knew they'd been sitting quite a while in silence. It was a lot to take in. Daniel leaned into Jack. Set him free? Could that really have been it? Daniel thought back to all of the plans Sha're had handled when they were on Abydos. Running a household in such hostile conditions was not for the unintelligent. It took planning, organization, and yes, strategy. Otherwise they'd never had have the supplies and food for the lean times. Sha're had been a master at planning for their household, leaving Daniel all his time to support his teaching and study with the rest of the clan.

Some part of the host had survived. He truly believed that. Otherwise, Sha're would have given up his hiding place when Ammonet left Abydos. He had to believe that she knew what she was doing when she sent him on his quest. His Sha're was many things, but cruel was not one of them.

Daniel dipped his head and nuzzled at Jack's throat. "I guess, I guess you're right. She must have wanted me to go on. She wouldn't have wanted me to keep looking for our — her — child when she knew it was safe."

He felt Jack's gaze on him. "What?"

Peering back, Jack quirked his head. "You know the primary job of a good father is making sure his children are safe, well taken care of. You did that for Sha're's child. You know that, right?"

Daniel felt his insides clench. He should be the one taking care of the child. He knew that. Shaking his head, he looked up at Jack. "I — "

"Danny, listen to me. You'd make a great dad. I know it. Look at how much you take care of other people. Look at how much the children on Abydos loved you. Look at how much they didn't want you to leave."

Daniel felt a quick kiss to his hair, then Jack continued. "Being a dad is sometimes about making hard choices. Doing what's best of the child. You know that. You helped me work through some of that when I told you about how guilty I felt for grounding Charlie the week before his death."

Jack's arms gave him a gentle shake. "Remember what you told me, Danny. Being a good father is more than keeping yourself and your child happy. It's about doing what's best. You did what was best. And if you found yourself with a baby tomorrow, I'd have no doubt about your ability to be a great dad. None."

Daniel contemplated Jack's words. He remembered the conversation from last Father's Day about the last weeks of Charlie's life. And he knew, deep in his heart, Jack had done what was best. And if those rules applied to Jack, Daniel couldn't really give himself a different set. He felt much of the tightness in his chest release.

Jack's hands felt so good rubbing up and down his back. He felt Jack's next words as much as heard them. "So what do you choose?"

Daniel pushed back a little, pulling to meet Jack's eyes. "I choose to believe the child is safe and Sha're wanted me to be happy." He paused and put all of his emotion into his words, "I choose you."

Jack's concerned look was immediately transformed by a radiant smile. "Damn good choice, Danny. Damn good."

He could feel Jack study him for a second and then watched as he leaned in. Jack's head tilted and Daniel closed his eyes.

He felt the warm lips as they gently pressed against his own. The kiss was mild and over too quickly. About to protest, Daniel felt Jack lean in and chew at his bottom lip. His slight gasp allowed Jack's tongue entrance to his mouth. His mind froze in awe as he felt Jack shift against him and Jack's tongue duel with his own. The pure energy and emotion of this first real kiss overwhelmed him. Grabbing Jack tightly he held on with slightly trembling arms.

~~~~

Jack wondered at the multitasking his mind could do. He was mostly focused on Daniel, his feel, his taste, his embrace. Yet there was a small part of his mind waiting to see if his shirt was going to rip. Telling the "defensive" part of his mind to "forget the fucking shirt" and concentrate on the man in front of him, he returned focus to the task at hand. He could feel Daniel struggling to hold on to him, and the shirt, as their kiss progressed.

The slight sound of fabric tearing indicated that the intensity needed to come down a bit. Aggravating Daniel's injuries was not on the agenda for the evening. Jack slowly sucked Daniel's tongue into his mouth as he gentled the kiss. He could feel Daniel quaking against him, the combination of emotions and medications overwhelming him.

"I think bed is an excellent idea, Dr. Jackson," Jack said finally pulling back. "Doc Frasier prescribed lots of bed rest and I think that's just the ticket here."

"Oh, yeah. Bed. Definitely." Daniel's loopy smile shone back at him.

"For sleep, Daniel. And rest. We've got plenty of time for everything else later." Jack saw the small pout of Daniel's lips and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Rest, Daniel. But I'll be right there holding you. 'K?"

Resigned Daniel nodded his head and they stood and untangled themselves from the couch.

~~~~

Jack was pulling down the sheets and blankets when Daniel finally emerged from the bathroom. They'd both brushed their teeth, and assured that Daniel didn't need further assistance, Jack had left him to finish his ablutions.

Looking up, Jack smiled. Daniel was clad in a pair of loose, navy flannel boxers that rode low on his hips. He still sported the sling that Jack had refastened after helping him get undressed. He was also sporting a somewhat hesitant look as he walked into his own room.

Jack slid under the covers and then held up the bedding in invitation. Daniel seemed to relax a bit and then moved forward.

Daniel snuggled in on his back as Jack dropped the covers over him. He tried to cover a small groan and Jack immediately shifted.

"Back bothering you?"

"Yes, a bit. I just need to get settled."

Jack's fingers rubbed up and lightly over the sling. "Here, let's take this off," he said unfastening the catch. He pulled it free and then helped Daniel to shift onto his good side. After a quick kiss to Daniel's nape, Jack spooned up behind him.

A sigh of contentment reached him as Jack looped an arm around Daniel's waist. Reaching down to resettle the blankets, Jack's wrist grazed over a lump under the sheet. The moan that accompanied it spread a warmth through Jack.

"Um, Daniel?"

Daniel's answer to the unasked question was to scoot back further, nestling Jack's growing erection against his back.

Jack leaned forward carefully and nipped gently on Daniel's ear. He nuzzled and licked the area more, as Daniel gripped his arm harder. "Daniel, will you do something for me?"

Daniel wiggled a bit more against Jack and answered, "Anything."

Jack felt his heart overload at the seductive undercurrent in the words. "Then let me do this my way."

At that, Jack pulled his hand from Daniel's waist and slid it under the flannel boxers. He shifted slightly and ran his knuckles up and down the firm shaft. Kissing a line across Daniel's shoulder, Jack twisted his hand and began to firmly caress Daniel. He felt Daniel's hips move in time with his hand until Daniel stilled both his body and Jack's arm with a firm grip.

And arc of concern washed through Jack as he asked, "Danny, did I hurt you?"

Daniel shifted a bit and rolled onto his back. "No." He pulled Jack's hand from his boxers and kissed it gently. "I want —-"

Daniel shifted and cupped Jack's jaw. "I want us to share this. I want to see you."

Putting a single finger over Jack's protesting mouth, Daniel looked startled to feel the light kiss on his finger.

Jack studied him for a moment. Pushing back the blankets, Jack leaned over and gave Daniel a firm kiss. "You let me do most of the work, okay? And we protect your shoulder."

Before Daniel could answer, Jack and removed his own sleep wear and proceeded to pull Daniel's boxers down his legs. Tossing the flannels aside, Jack straddled Daniel. He leaned down and placed an arm on each side of Daniel's shoulders balancing on his forearms to hold his weight. They shared several leisurely kisses.

Kneeling over Daniel, Jack could feel his erection lightly scraping against its mate. There wasn't much contact, as he was mindful of keeping his weight balanced on his arms and knees to protect both Daniel's shoulder and the abrasions on his back.

Giving Daniel's tongue a quick nip, Jack pulled back. He took Daniel's right hand in his and guided it to his own straining erection. As Daniel tried to reach for Jack's instead, Jack shifted and brought both cocks into alignment. Smiling, Daniel's fingers were able to pull the organs together as Jack began to move slowly up and down.

His knees might protest later, but Jack didn't care. Daniel was comfortably spread below him on the bed, the only movement coming from his "good" arm and the slight rocking of his hips. He watched as Daniel's face shifted from happiness to delight at the friction, and the speed of his thrusts increased. Daniel's neck arched and "Jack!" was called through gritted teeth. Daniel's hand spasmed around them both, the sound of Jack's name echoing as Jack felt himself awash in Daniel's pleasure.

The cry, the warm liquid bathing his own erection and the look of joy on Daniel's face sent Jack over the edge. Lights sparkled behind his closed eyes as he felt his entire body convulse. Arms and legs shaking, he wanted to do nothing more than collapse on the body of the wondrous man beneath him. His concern for Daniel's injuries, however reminded him to shift to the side. Falling back onto the bed, Jack felt Daniel slowly raise and slide over his chest to lay with his head tucked under Jack's chin.

Jack cradled him for a bit, trying to regain his breath. Running fingers through Daniel's wet bangs he finally whispered "You okay?"

Daniel's head pulled up for a second and their eyes met. "I'd say I'm much more than okay." He kissed Jack once more and then settled back into his previous position.

Jack continued to stroke him, "No, I mean your shoulder. You jerked pretty strongly there at the end. Is it worse?"

Daniel placed a kiss in the hollow of Jack's throat. "If I didn't know better Jack, I'd say you were fishing for compliments. You did all the work, my shoulder is fine."

Daniel waited a beat. "And since I know how much you love fishing, I'll admit this was more than wonderful."

Closing his eyes, Jack let out a chuckle followed by a strong sigh of relief. It had felt so right, so good to be here with Daniel. To think that he might have aggravated his injuries was not something Jack wanted added into their memories of their first time together.

Tender lips touched his and Jack opened his eyes to see Daniel staring down at him. Reaching up he cupped Daniel's cheek. "Hey."

"Don't."

Confused, Jack began to ask "what" and Daniel silenced him with another kiss.

"Don't worry about this. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'm here. I wanted you tonight. I —"

Daniel's eyes shifted from his for a bit and then returned. "I needed you tonight, Jack. Maybe —"

He stopped again. Still caressing his cheek, Jack lay back and waited. Feeling the tension rise in Daniel, he finally prompted, "Maybe what?"

Daniel's solemn blue eyes cut into him. "Maybe, even not at one hundred percent, I needed to be enough for you tonight. You said earlier that I wouldn't let you see me at my worst. Well, today you sure have. And when I wanted you tonight after falling apart, I guess I needed to know that I, alone, would be enough for you."

Daniel stopped again and leaned his head against Jack's. "I'm not being very clear, am I?" He shook his head, eyes seeming to plead for understanding.

Jack studied him for a moment, just drinking in the love he saw shining out of Daniel's eyes. "Danny, you will always be enough for me. Broken shoulder, broken heart, god forbid — broken body — I will love all of you. I do love all of you. And I want all of you."

Daniel settled back onto Jack's side, running his fingers through the coarse chest hair.

Jack resumed stroking Daniel's arms. "Don't ever doubt this Daniel. Now that I have you, I'm not letting you go."

Wonder colored Daniel's voice, "This really is enough for you, isn't it? I really am enough?"

Jack kissed his brow, "Always Danny. Trust me on that. Always."

finis

 

  
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